Losing My Control For You
by The Passionate Admiral
Summary: Stan initially feels that his relationship with Wendy is in jeopardy of falling apart. However, someone else has other plans for them, and before long, Stan and Wendy get so close, that they risk crossing the line that separates "boyfriend and girlfriend" from "affectionate lovers." Stendy. Rated M for sexuality and profanity. R&R, please!
1. New Arrivals

Losing My Control For You

Author: The Passionate Admiral

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park; that's the work of the masterminds Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

Plot: There's a little conspiracy going around. Someone is trying to make the show's favorite couple get extremely close to each other in their relationship; even closer than they already are. How will this all turn out? Will two fourth-graders lose their innocence to each other? Or will they come to their senses before things get out of hand? I hope you like this; it's my first South Park fanfic!

**ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS SHOW-EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE-ARE ENTIRELY FICTIONAL. ALL CELEBRITY VOICES ARE IMPERSONATED…POORLY. THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE AND DUE TO ITS CONTENT IT SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY ANYONE**

(Cue opening song)

Les Claypool: I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.

Stan and Kyle: Friendly faces everywhere, humble folk without temptation!

Les: Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind.

Cartman: Ample parking day or night, people shouting "Howdy neighbor!"

Les: Heading down to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind.

Kenny (muffled): I like fucking silly bitches, cause I know my penis likes it!

Les: So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!

(Cut to: South Park Elementary Exterior. As the bell rings, the Schoolyard is nice and peaceful, as per usual.)

(Cut to: South Park Elementary, 4th Grade Classroom. The students are talking amongst themselves, being somewhat loud and noisy, also per usual. Kyle is sitting at his desk, looking over his homework. Cartman is also sitting at his desk, look over his own homework. However, he is notably nervous about something.)

Cartman (whispering): Hey, Kyle, you have a moment?

Kyle (not particularly interested): What, Cartman?

Cartman (still whispering): Let's compare our answers for the homework; see if we both got the same results.

Kyle (uncertain): Ummm… okay, sure.

Cartman (focusing on his paper): What did you get for problem number one?

Kyle (Looking at his paper): I got… ninety-six.

Cartman (writes down something on his paper): Okay, good; that's what I got, too. Now, what did you get for number two?

Kyle: Thirty-seven.

Cartman (writes down something more on his paper): Alright, I got that same answer, too! What about number three?

(Kyle gazes at Cartman's paper out of the corner of his eye and notices that there is nothing written on it other than "96" and "37.")

Kyle (angrily): You didn't do your homework AGAIN?

(Cartman quickly covers his worksheet with his arm)

Cartman (trying to act casual): No, of course – I mean, yes, I freakin' did it! How dare you accuse me of trying to cheat!

Kyle (smirking): Alright, then; what did YOU get for number three?

Cartman (sweating): Ummm…

Kyle (continuing to smirk): I didn't think so.

Cartman (frustrated): GODDAMNIT, JEW!

(At that moment, Stan walks into the room, looking exhausted. Kyle looks up from his worksheet and notices his best friend's apparent apathy).

Stan (tired): Hey, dudes. (He takes his seat between Kyle and Token)

Kyle (concerned): Stan, are you feeling alright? You don't look too good.

Stan (tired): Don't worry about me, Kyle. I'm fine.

(Kenny is sitting behind Cartman at that time. He happens to notice Stan's lethargic state as well)

Kenny (muffled): What'd you do? Stay up all night watching the Terrance and Philip marathon?

Stan (lightly smiling, but still exhausted): Yeah, of course. Who wouldn't stay up for that?

Kyle: Good point. But we've all stayed up all night watching Terrance and Philip marathons, and we've always been wide awake for the following day!

(Bebe happens to listen in on the conversation)

Bebe (muttering to herself): I still can't believe you find that stuff funny. It's so dumb.

Cartman (angrily): EY! No one invited YOU into the conversation, skank!

Kyle (to Cartman): Who said you were a part of it, either?

(Cartman mutters something strongly anti-Semitic under his breath)

Stan (still tired): Perhaps I should rephrase what I just said. I **tried **to watch the Terrance and Phillip marathon, but every three minutes, Wendy kept texting me on my cellphone. I had to keep leaving the room in order to answer her texts. By the time the marathon was over, she still kept them coming. I barely got a wink of sleep last night.

Kyle (surprised): Dude, why didn't you just tell her you were watching Terrance and Phillip? Maybe she would have left you alone!

Stan (waking up a little more): Oh, yeah, right! How would that look? "Sorry, Wendy, I'd love to chat, but Terrance and Phillip is much more interesting than your text messages!" Don't tell me she'd take well to **that**!

Kenny (muffled): But you always tell us that you think Terrance and Phillip **is **more interesting.

Stan: You think I'd actually tell **her **something like that?

Cartman (sighs and leans back in his chair): Oh, boy; here we go!

Kyle (looking over at him): What does that mean?

Cartman: It's never a good sign in a relationship when the chick is calling the shots!

Stan (angrily): Wendy's not "calling the shots," fat-ass! She's just taking up too much of my free time. If YOU ever had a girlfriend, you would know.

Cartman (under his breath): Don't… fuckin'… call… me… fat!

(Token places his arm on Stan's back, as if to comfort him)

Token: You shouldn't be afraid of being frank with your girlfriend, Stan. If she's getting on your nerves or forcing you into something you really don't want to do, just be direct and tell her straight out.

(At that moment, Nichole enters the room and sits down on the other side of Token)

Nichole: Hi, Token!

(Token quickly refocuses his attention to his girlfriend)

Token (brightly): Hey, Nichole. Wow, you look great today.

Nichole: Thanks. My parents are taking me to a miniature golf course this weekend. Maybe you and your parents would like to come along?

Token (nodding his head vigorously): Alright, I'm sure my parents would love that!

(Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny watch as the two African American students talk together.)

Kenny (muffled): Guys, what the hell's going on? Token **hates **miniature golf.

Stan (whispering): I guess he knows what I'm going through.

Cartman (holding his hands together and looking over at Token and Nichole with a look of adoration in his eyes): Yeah, but that's different. Token and Nichole were always meant to be.

Kyle (annoyed): No, they weren't. You just involuntarily involved them in your little game of matchmaker.

Cartman (sighing in bliss): You'll never understand, Kyle. Someday, you'll meet a sweet little Jewish girl. And when that day comes, you and she should totally meet each other in the school gym!

Kyle (suspicious): Why the school gym?

Cartman (acting casual): No reason. I just thought it'd be a good idea.

(Wendy walks into the classroom at that moment. Stan notices this and quickly straightens up as his girlfriend passes his desk.)

Wendy (calmly): Hi Stan!

Stan (nonchalantly): Morning… sweetie.

(Kenny, Cartman, and Butters snicker until Kyle gives them a death glare. Wendy sits next to Butters behind Stan.)

Wendy: Stan, did you get my text last night?

Stan: Which one?

Wendy: The one where I talked about what we could do over the weekend. That was text number 51.

Stan (in disbelief): You actually kept count of them?

Wendy: Yes, of course! It's easier to establish a point of reference when you refer to an earlier conversation.

Cartman (under his breath): Geek.

Stan (immediately outraged): "DON'T YOU CALL MY GIRLFRIEND A GEEK, CARTMAN!"

Cartman (calmly): Oh, I won't… if you tell her what you told us.

Wendy (turning from Cartman to Stan): What does he mean, Stan?

Cartman: Apparently, your boyfriend here finds immature shows more enjoyable than your company.

Kyle: "Immature shows?" You like Terrance and Phillip, too, retard!

Cartman: Yes, but it's okay for me to like them; I'm single.

Wendy: Stan, what does Cartman mean?

Stan (starting to sweat nervously): Well, uh… well…

(The second bell rings, meaning the school day has begun. Mr. Garrison enters the classroom with a stack of papers. After placing them on his desk, he turns to face his students)

Mr. Garrison: Okay, children, take your seats. (Anyone who isn't already seated sits in their chairs. Everyone is accounted for, but there are two empty desks in the room. One is behind Nichole; the other is behind Token.) Today, we have two new students joining the class. (Two fourth-grade students enter from the right. One of them is a boy with short brown hair, a black shirt, red shorts, and brown shoes. The other is a slightly-shorter girl with brown hair tied in a ponytail, an orange blouse, a tan skirt, and black shoes. Both of them are wearing white coats that oddly resemble the stereotypical lab coats scientists are associated with.) This is Quincy and Juliana Morales. They just transferred here from California.

(The two new students appear to be observing the class, as if they are studying the others.)

Quincy (speaking to Juliana): They seem relatively indifferent to our arrival.

Juliana (speaking to Quincy): This must be a small yet eventful town.

Quincy: That could be; none of them seem displeased with the change of routine.

Juliana: My thoughts exactly.

Cartman (whispering to Kenny): Oh, boy, nerd alert! (Kenny scoffs under his hood. Garrison pretends to ignore them.)

Mr. Garrison: Quincy, Juliana, why don't you take those empty seats in the second row?

(Quincy and Juliana both nod. The two of them move to the desks. Quincy sits in front of Tweek, to the right of Wendy, and behind Token. Juliana sits in front of Lola, to the left of Heidi, and behind Nichole.)

Mr. Garrison: Okay, children; today we'll be discussing the primal instincts of animals and men. We have a special guest here to discuss the subject. (He holds out his arm to the door) Please welcome… (He pauses, as if waiting for someone to come through. He looks at the door out of the corner of his eye. No one is there.)

Cartman (sarcastically): Well, hello, Mr. … It is a pleasure to have you here, Mr. … Have you ever been to South Park before, Mr. …?

(Several of the other students chuckle)

Garrison (annoyed): Thank you for that warm greeting, Eric. (He turns to the door) It would appear as though our guest speaker is still in the lobby. Please stay in your seats while I go fetch him. (He walks to the door, opens it, and steps outside. The moment the door closes, most of the students burst into conversation with each other.)

Kenny (muffled): I'll bet Garrison **would **like to fetch him, whoever he is.

(Butters and Kyle giggle)

(Quincy and Juliana study their own desks. Juliana notices a sliver of wood is loose near the edge of the top platform)

Juliana (rubbing her chin): Peculiar (She opens up her coat partially. Inside are an assortment of utensils and tools. She removes a pair of tweezers and a small magnifying glass. She uses the tweezers to carefully remove the sliver of wood. She then holds it up to her face and focuses on it a little more closely using the magnifying glass.) Pine and oak wood. Minimum age, approximately six years. Sprayed with essence of cashews; obviously a standard termite repellant. Rather sturdy.

(Quincy, meanwhile, is examining the underside of his desk)

Quincy: No signs of any gum wads. That implies either excellent performance by the janitors or at least simple acts of courtesy by those who sit here. (He taps on the metal underside of the desk) Interesting; a reinforced iron alloy. Must make the desk very durable. (He opens his coat and removes a small brush. He rubs it up against the underside of the desk. Then he pinches the bristles with his thumb and index finger and holds his hand closer to his face) A notable lack of dust. This would seem to confirm my theory of the janitor's services.

(Red is sitting behind Heidi. She taps her friend on the shoulder. Soon, Heidi turns around.)

Red (whispering): Why is it we always end up sitting with the dorks?

Heidi (shrugging): I don't know. We just have crappy luck.

(Despite the whispering, Juliana overhears them)

Juliana (without looking up): Luck has nothing to do with it. We are all merely victims of circumstance.

Heidi (rolling her eyes): Sure, whatever.

(Juliana puts away her tools and turns to Heidi)

Juliana: You shouldn't always judge someone by first glance.

Heidi: Maybe **you **don't, but the rest of us do.

Juliana (looks Heidi over): I must compliment you for your taste in clothing.

Heidi (raises and eyebrow in interest): What do you mean?

Juliana: That jacket goes very well with those trousers. I never thought a person could wear two different shades of green and produce such an appealing image. You proved me wrong. Very wrong indeed.

Heidi (cracking a little smile): Well… thank you.

Juliana: Is green your favorite color?

Heidi: Yes, it is. That's why I like to wear so much of it.

Juliana: (She then turns to Red) Is your hair naturally red?

Red (slightly irritated): Yes. Why? Does it look dyed to you?

Juliana: No, not at all. I actually think your hair goes very well with your clothes. Red and navy blue are very intriguing combination. In your case, I believe that such a combination would maximize your appearance.

(Red and Lola look at each other, slightly confused)

Lola: Don't take this the wrong way, but… you don't bat for the same team, do you?

Juliana (scoffs): No, I'm not a lesbian. I'm sorry if that disappoints you.

(Red, Heidi, and Lola laugh simultaneously)

Heidi: You know what? I guess you're right; we did misjudge you. (Holds her hand out to Juliana) My name is Heidi Turner. (As she shakes hands with Juliana, she gestures to the two girls behind them) These are my friends Lola and Red. (The two of them smile at Juliana)

Juliana (smirking): I'll bet you all thought I was a total geek. Apparently, there aren't that many people who know that geeks can have a sense of fashion as well.

Red (shrugging): I guess so.

(Cartman and Kenny have been watching the four girls talk. Cartman leans over and rests his arm on his BFF's desk.)

Cartman: I don't know what to make of these two new kids. The guy seems kinda lame, but that chick might actually be cool.

Kenny (muffled): One thing I **will **admit; that new girl has got a sweet ass. (He and Cartman laugh)

(Quincy happens to overhear Kenny. He angrily looks over at him and gives him the finger. Then he turns to Butters, who is sitting between him and Wendy)

Quincy (speaking to Butters in an angry tone of voice): Tell that pervert in the orange parka that if he makes another provocative comment about my sister, I'll rip his testicles clean out of his scrotum!

Butters (slightly startled): Uh… alright. Alright then. (He turns to Kenny) Kenny, that new boy says…

Kenny (muffled): I know, I know, I heard him! (He looks over at Quincy) Dude, sorry; I was just joking. I didn't mean to offend you.

Quincy (calming down): If you meant no harm, I forgive you. I'm just very protective of my sister.

Kenny (muffled): I can understand that; I'd do the same thing for my sister Karen.

Cartman (scratching the side of his head in interest. Then he turns to Stan and Kyle): I take back what I said. Only cool people can make such awesome threats like that. As of right now, they're both on the path to being _cool_.

**Review please! I'd like to know: do you think I succeed in keeping everyone in-character? Or do I need to work a little more on that? What do you think of these two OCs I've got? If this chapter seemed a little dull, I can assure you, the next chapter will be more eventful.**


	2. Regression Pills

(Mr. Garrison reenters the room. Dr. Mephisto enters behind him, wheeling in a large cart with a white sheet draped over it.)

Mr. Garrison: (moves to his desk) Okay, children; now we're back on track. Here to enlighten us on the primal side of men and animals is South Park's own Alphonse Mephisto. I have no idea what this will involve, but school policy demands that you learn this crap anyway.

(Butters, Juliana, and Quincy clap. Everyone else is either disinterested or bored.)

Stan (whispering to Kyle): We haven't seen him since the attack of the gingers.

Kyle: Yeah, you're right. I wonder what he's been doing in all that time.

Cartman: Probably been busy working on more of his half-assed experiments.

(Kyle, Kenny, and Stan laugh. Mephisto overhears Cartman's remark.)

Mephisto: My experiments are not half-assed, Mr. Cartman. I can assure you that each and every one of them is multi-assed.

Cartman: I know, "sir." (Mephisto brings his cart to the center of the room, stands to one side of it, and leans against his cane)

Mephisto: Children, before I begin my lecture I would like to ask you; how many of you fully understand the concept of sex? (Kenny raises his hand) Yes, Mr. McCormick?

Kenny (muffled): It's when a man sticks his junk in a woman's clit.

(Awkward pause)

Mephisto (stunned): Yes… that is the fundamental aspect of it all. What else could it involve?

Kenny (muffled): Oh, there's a lot of different ways it can be done. For example, a man takes his junk and… (The rest of Kenny's dialogue is drowned out as he goes on. Many of the girls look disgusted by Kenny's words, but most of the boys seem somewhat interested.)

Mephisto: How do you know all this, Mr. McCormick?

Kenny (muffled): My Dad always leaves his playboys lying around where my brother and I can find them. Plus, there's also my own experience.

Mephisto (looking displeased): That isn't a good sign, my boy.

Cartman: Don't blame him, Dr. Mephisto. Poor people don't have that much to do in their spare time, since fun things cost money nowadays.

Kenny (muffled angrily): Fuck off, Cartman!

Mephisto: Let's get back on track. (He walks behind the cart) Children, millions of years ago, the human race endured a primitive lifestyle. We were residing in caves and feasting off of wildlife to stay alive. However, what is most notable about these individuals is that they had much less control over their sexual urges than we do today.

Cartman (whispering): I guess Kenny's family hasn't caught up with the rest of us. (Stan and Kyle snicker. Kenny just glares angrily)

Mephisto (ignoring Cartman): Over the course of several eons, the human race improved itself. We bettered ourselves physically, mentally, intellectually, and - of course - sexually. However, despite how far the human race has advanced, our original primal nature has always been dormant in our subconscious frame of mind.

Quincy (whispering to Juliana): Finally, somebody who speaks our language.

Juliana (nodding): We should do work with him sometime.

Mephisto: You see, children, no matter how far we advance, our primal side will always be in our subconscious. This goes for all the animals on the planet, as well. All we need to do to observe these primal feelings is to coax them out. (He holds up a transparent plastic case containing four medicine bottles. Each one contains a few hundred pills.) Until now, no one has ever found a clean way to manage that process. It would usually require torture, anguish, and other various forms of pain. However, I have been doing extensive research on the subconscious, and I have found a solution. I call these "Regression Pills."(Several members of the class now seem to be genuinely engrossed in Mephisto's lecture, primarily Quincy and Juliana. Quincy raises his hand) Yes, the young man in the second row?

Quincy: If it is not too much to ask, sir, could you provide us with a demonstration?

Juliana: Yes, we would very much like to see how these pills work.

Mephisto (smirks): That's precisely what this cart is for – my test subjects. (He pulls the sheet off of the cart, revealing four cages. Two are on the bottom part; two are on the upper part. One of the cages on the bottom has a fox in it; the other has a raccoon in it. One of the cages on the top has a rabbit in it; the other has a mouse and a woodpecker in it. To everyone's surprise, all of the test subjects only have one ass apiece.) I shall now demonstrate how each pill works.

Cartman: This is going to kick ass. (The class watches in interest)

(Mephisto leans his cane against the wall and approaches the cart. He takes one of the bottles out of his case, unscrews the cap, and removes a green pill. He puts the case down and faces the class)

Mephisto (holding up the pill): This pill causes physical regression. The rabbit has typically been observed as a docile and harmless creature. However, in the preliminary stages of their life, they were almost as savage as bears. Watch. (He steps over to the cage with the rabbit and drops the green pill through the top grate. The rabbit gazes at the pill in interest for a few moments, and then quickly ingests the pill. About five seconds after eating the pill, the rabbit stands perfectly still. Then, it starts growling, the gentle look in its eyes disappears, and it tries to break out of the cage by ramming its body against the bars.)

Class: Woah! (Butters looks terrified at first)

Cartman: Sweeeeeet. Reminds me a bit about that Tiger Woods game. (The class laughs. Mephisto then takes an orange pill out of his pocket and drops it into the cage. The rabbit immediately lunges down on it and swallows it down. Fifteen seconds later, the rabbit returns to its original calm state.)

Mephisto: The orange pill reverses the effects of the green pill. I just refer to them by their colors because I don't have proper names for them yet. (Next, Mephisto picks up the case, screws the bottle with the green pills up, and takes out another bottle. He unscrews this bottle and removes a yellow pill this time. He places the case down and faces the class again.) This pill causes mental regression. Raccoons are known to be very bright creatures. But they started their existence as a bunch of simple-minded plebeians.

Cartman: You mean like the cast of Twilight?

(The class bursts into laughter)

Mephisto: No, Mr. Cartman, they weren't **that **simple-minded. More like the cast of Glee. (Mephisto kneels down and drops the yellow pill into the raccoon's cage. The raccoon eyes the pill curiously and then eats it. About twenty seconds later, the raccoon drops to its stomach and gazes back at the students as if nothing is there)

Kyle: I haven't seen someone look that confused since Al Pacino in his last movie.

(The class laughs again, only harder this time. Except for Cartman)

Cartman: Ey! That was MY line!

Kyle (drily): Other people can tell jokes, too, fat-ass.

(Mephisto takes a purple pill out of his pocket and drops it into the raccoon's cage. The raccoon sniffs it and then gobbles it up. Soon, it's back on its feet, looking as if nothing has happened.)

Mephisto: The purple pill reverses the effects of the yellow pill. (Mephisto picks up his case, screws the bottle with the yellow pills up, and takes out a third bottle. He unscrews the cap and removes a blue pill. After setting the case back down, he turns back to the class.) This pill causes intellectual regression. The term "Sly as a fox" is indeed a valid statement, but "sly as a primeval fox" would be erroneous. (He drops the blue pill into the fox's cage. The fox gazes at the pill suspiciously, and then consumes it. Within ten seconds, a blank look appears in its eyes. It walks to the side of the cage and bangs its head repeatedly against the bars.)

Stan: I think it's trying to impersonate Pauly Shore looking back on his career.

(The class laughs even harder than before. Only Cartman does not laugh)

Cartman: Goddammit, stop stealing my lines, line robber!

Stan (drolly): You really need to calm down, fatso.

(Mephisto removes a brown pill from his pocket and drops it into the fox's cage. The fox gazes at the pill with a look of stupidity and then eats it up. Before long, it stops banging its head against the cage and returns to its original stance.)

Mephisto: The brown pill reverses the effects of the blue pill. (Mephisto picks the case up, screws the lid back on the bottle with the blue pills, and removes the final bottle. He unscrews the cap and takes out two red pills this time. He sets down the case and turns to the class.) The red pill causes sexual regression. Mice and woodpeckers produce generally large litters. In their primal state, they were virtually uncontrollable when they experienced lust. You would never expect to see them cross-breeding. But take a look at this. (He drops both of the red pills into the cage with the mouse and the woodpecker. Both animals move to one of the pills and ingest them. This time, the class leans in a bit closer to observe the reactions of the animals. Before long, the woodpecker and the mouse gaze at each other in a rather licentious manner. Then they lunge at each other and begin a very unorthodox mating ritual.)

Kenny (muffled): Wow, they fuck like Jersey people!

(This time, everyone laughs hysterically, except for Cartman, who looks furious)

Cartman: Screw you guys, I'm going home! (He makes no move to get up)

Quincy: What's the matter? Are you stuck in your desk? (The rest of class laughs again. Cartman just flashes Quincy a hostile glare. Soon, everyone calms down and watches the animals in the cage.)

Juliana: Dr. Mephisto, when will you administer the antidote?

Mephisto: I'm afraid that I have no antidote for the red pill yet, my dear. The red pill is by far the most complex of the lot. (He leans closer to the cage and gazes in on the two mating animals) Until I've found one, they'll be stuck like this. (Suddenly, the mouse slams the woodpecker against one of the sides of the cage, startling Mephisto. He jolts back and accidentally drops the bottle. It hits the ground and almost all of the red pills spill out, scattering across the floor.) Dammit! Just fantastic! (He kneels down to pick them up. Wendy, Kenny, Nichole, Millie, Clyde, Bebe, Quincy, Juliana, Token, Esther, Kevin, Annie, and Bradley all get up to help Mephisto gather the pills up. Once they are all rounded up, Mephisto quickly counts the pills to make certain that they are all accounted for. After confirming that they are all there, he screws the lid back on the bottle and puts it into the case) So, there you have it, class. The primal side of animals can be drawn out with the simple usage of pills.

Juliana (raising her hand): What about humans? Could these pills cause the same outcome in us?

Mephisto: I'm not certain; I don't have any human test subjects. My studies seem to suggest that the pills **would** work, but they may not be as strong or as quick as they are in animals.

Quincy: What exactly would these pills be useful for?

(Pause)

Mephisto: That is an excellent question. I suppose the green pill could be used to buff up athletes who don't respond well to steroids. The yellow pill could be used to study the behavior and attitudes of earlier people. The blue pill could be used to challenge people's intellect. As for the red pill… once it's perfected, the word "aphrodisiac" comes to mind.

Butters: What's an "after-daisy-hack?"

Kenny (muffled): It's something that can be used to strengthen one's hormones.

Mephisto: Right. Now, on with the lecture… (At this point, the students gradually start to lose interest in Mephisto's monologue)

(Cut to: the hallway outside the fourth-grade hall. It is later, after the end of class. Most of the students are at their lockers. Stan is placing his science book inside of his own locker and then he closes it up. He turns around and sees Wendy standing behind him. She has a somewhat serious yet genial expression on her face.)

Wendy: Stan, we need to talk.

Stan: Alright. About what?

Wendy: Well… (she seems a little uncertain about how to proceed) when was the last time you and I went anywhere together?

Stan: Wendy, we go to places together all the time! Like to school, the classrooms, the cafeteria … (he quickly stops when he sees the un-amused expression on Wendy's face)

Wendy: Let me rephrase that: when was the last time you and I did anything **alone**?

Stan: The other week, I guess, when we stopped by that recycling center to drop off some empty water bottles and such. (There is a long pause)

Wendy: Stan, I don't mind if you like spending most of your time with your friends. But just once, could you and **I **do something together after school today?

Stan: Like what? I'm open to suggestions.

Wendy (thinks for a moment): I'm having a little trouble with that history report. Maybe you're having better luck on it than me.

Stan: Yeah, I already finished mine. But I don't know about today after school.

Wendy (sternly): Why not?

Stan: 'Cause, I'm visiting my grandpa today. I always visit him after school on Wednesdays.

Wendy (rolls her eyes): Of course, you do. (She storms off towards the lunch room.)

Stan (starts to go after her): Wendy! Wendy, wait! (He stops and watches her walk off) Shit.

(Cartman has been listening in on their conversation. He walks over to Stan.)

Cartman: You are such a goddamn liar.

Stan (frustrated): What do you mean?

Cartman: You know full well that you visit your grandpa after school on Thursdays, not Wednesdays. Besides, you just wanted to get out of that so you could go Faith Hilling with us at the café.

Stan: Well, was I supposed to tell her **that** instead? What kind of lame-ass excuse would that look like?

(Kyle and Kenny enter from the right)

Kyle: Stan, just relax. You can work something out with Wendy later. Come on, let's go eat lunch (the four of them head off to the cafeteria)

(Cut to: the cafeteria. Most of the tables are only half-full. However, the fourth-grade boys' table and the fourth-grade girls' table are both full. There is a table between these two tables; the only students sitting there are Quincy and Juliana. At the boys' table, Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Jimmy, Timmy, Clyde, Craig, Kevin, Token, Butters, and Tweek are all seated. At the girls' table, Wendy, Bebe, Lola, Nichole, Red, Millie, Heidi, Annie, Esther, and Jenny are all seated.)

(Quincy and Juliana both have trays from the lunch line. They carefully examine the school's food before they eat it)

Quincy: The chicken seems to be grilled nicely; the crust on the surface suggests split-second precision in its cooking time.

Juliana: The mashed potatoes are free of lumps; this indicates both efficiency and attention to detail.

(The two of them begin to eat. A minute later, a group of the sixth-graders walks over to the table.)

Sixth-grade Leader: Hey, you're in our spot! (Quincy and Juliana just slowly turn to them without any change in their facial expressions)

Quincy: Is there a problem here?

Sixth-grade Leader: Yes there is, you snot-nosed little fourth-graders. You're sitting at our table! (Quincy and Juliana mockingly look around)

Juliana: I don't see a name written anywhere, so you must be mistaken. This is everyone's table.

(Everybody at the fourth-grade tables turns to look at the Morales twins and the sixth-graders.)

Cartman (slyly): Uh-oh. The new kids are about to get a proper introduction from the sixth-graders.

Tweek (twitching): Ah! Shouldn't we warn them?

Clyde: Nah, let's just watch.

Craig: Yeah, it's more fun this way.

Sixth-grade Leader (talking to the Morales twins): If you leave now, you can go ahead and enjoy your lunch somewhere else. But if you don't leave now, it'll be hard for you to eat anything! (Quincy and Juliana just look at each other and scoff) What's so funny?

Juliana (turns to the Sixth-grade Leader): We are very familiar with your type. You're the kind of person that surrounds himself with his friends and insinuates himself as the group leader because he's afraid of entering a confrontation on his own.

Quincy: The cowardly type.

(More people in the cafeteria turn towards the table. The fourth-graders seem especially interested in what's going on.)

Sixth-grade Leader: You think I'm a coward? You are wrong, you stupid little ballsuckers!

(Quincy and Juliana scoff again)

Quincy: It would seem that you're also the type that has to resort to insults and jeers in order to voice your opinion. And for your information, my sister and I have a combined IQ of 370. It would be foolish to call us "stupid," you imbecile.

Juliana: I'd suggest you just go and find another table to sit at before you publically embarrass yourself like the bunch of pathetic, pretentious, cowardly jackasses you are.

(By this point, everyone in the cafeteria has their attention focused on the confrontation.)

Sixth-grade Leader (to his friends): Guys, stand back. I'll handle this (The other sixth-graders take a few steps back to give their leader some room. He then steps forward and leans on the table. He gazes at Juliana.) If you honestly think I am going to take that crap from a slutty, smart-mouthed little bitch, you are sorely mistaken.

(Juliana remains unfazed, but Quincy angrily looks up at the Sixth-grade Leader)

Quincy: What did you just call my sister?

Sixth-grade Leader: A bitch. I called your little whore-sister a bitch. (Quincy jumps to his feet, but remains standing on the table's sitting-bench)

Quincy (through gritted teeth): Don't you **dare **say those things about her.

Sixth-grade Leader (smirks; he has found a way to set Quincy off): I'll call her whatever I want. She's a bitch, a slut, a… (as he continues with a string of insults directed at Juliana, Quincy calmly takes off his white coat and sets it on the table. Juliana looks a little concerned.)

Juliana (whispering): Quincy, it's alright! I can take a few insults.

Quincy (whispering): Sorry, Juliana; this guy needs to be put in his place (After neatly laying out his white coat, Quincy turns to face the Sixth-grade leader. He slowly approaches him, then grabs him by the throat and slams him against the table. The next three lines he says in a manner similar to Robin Williams in "Good Will Hunting"). You disrespect my sister like that again, and I will end you! Do you understand me, asshole? I will fuckin' **end** you! (The Sixth-grade Leader slowly nods his head. Quincy lets him go and pushes him away) Now buzz off. All of you. (The Sixth-graders quickly move to another table. Quincy picks up his white coat and puts it back on. Then he and Juliana continue eating lunch as if nothing has happened.)

(The fourth-grade boys and girls are stunned. No one has ever stood up the sixth-graders like that.)

Cartman: Hmmm… (He looks over his shoulder at the Morales twins.) I must say, those new kids are interesting characters.

Kyle: No kidding; they're real brainiacs, yet they're still somewhat stylish and witty.

Jimmy: I don't know 'bout you, f-f-fellas, but I l-l-like them.

Timmy (agreeing): Timmah!

Butters: How about we invite them over? (The others look at him strangely) What? What'd I say?

Cartman: Butters, this is the fourth-grade **boys **table.

Butters: Okay, then let's just invite Quincy.

Cartman: Better idea. That dude can kick sixth-grade ass.

Stan: I'll go speak to him (he gets up and walks over to the table with the Morales twins).

(At that same time, the fourth-grade girls are discussing the same idea)

Millie: I like that girl; she's really cunning.

Heidi: She definitely isn't as much a nerd as I thought.

Annie: And her brother isn't too bad-lookin' either.

Esther: No denying that.

Bebe: I think we should invite the girl over.

Wendy: Good idea. I'll go speak to her (she gets up and walks over to the table with the Morales twins).

(Stan and Wendy get up at the same time, approach the table at the same pace, and reach it at the same moment. They tap Quincy and Juliana on the shoulder respectively and the two Morales twins turn around simultaneously. They also say their next lines at the same time)

Stan: Quincy, would you care to come sit with us?

Wendy: Juliana, would you like to join us?

(Quincy and Juliana think for a moment, and then both nod their heads, smiling friendly. They pick up their trays and walk over to the boys' table and the girls' table respectively. Before walking back, Stan and Wendy notice each other's immediate presence)

Stan: Hi, Wendy. How are you doing?

Wendy: I'm alright. But I would still like your thoughts on the history paper.

Stan: Let's just wait until recess to talk about that. I'd like to eat my lunch while I still have my appetite.

Wendy (turning around: Fine, whatever.

Stan: By the way, say "hi" to that new girl for me.

Wendy (abruptly stops in her tracks and slowly gazes over her shoulders): What's that supposed to mean?

Stan (alarmed by her reaction): It just means that I want her and her brother to feel welcome.

Wendy (angrily): I hope that's all you're implying, Stanley Marsh. (She turns back to the girls' table. Stan just sighs and walks back to his spot at the boys' table)

Stan (rubbing his temple): This is fuckin' ridiculous.

Quincy (now sitting next to him): What's wrong?

Stan: I haven't been spending a lot of time with my girlfriend. She's getting kinda bitter because of that. It also doesn't help that she gets jealous really easily.

Cartman (sitting on the other side of Stan): Just relax and eat, Stan. You shouldn't stress out too much.

Stan: Right. (He picks up his thermos and pours some tomato soup into a bowl. He picks up his spoon and begins slurping it down. However, one of the tomato bits is a little firmer and more neatly-shaped than the other bits. Stan just finishes his soup and moves on to his sandwich)

(At the girls' table, Wendy sits back down. Bebe is on her left and Juliana is on her right. Wendy leans against her arm and sighs deeply)

Juliana: Everything alright?

Wendy: I guess so… I just really want to do something with my boyfriend, but it seems like he's always busy.

Bebe (patting her best friend on the back): Don't worry about it, Wendy. I'm certain that he really cares for you.

Wendy: I know he does, Bebe. I just don't know what to do… (Wendy decides to continue with her lunch. She turns her attention to her bowl of red beans and rice. She uses her fork to eat up the Creole dish. However, she doesn't notice that one of the red beans is shaped more like a tiny cylinder and strangely plastic-looking. Before long, she's eaten the entire bowl.)

(Cut to: the playground. Wendy is playing four square with Juliana, Bebe, and Red when Stan comes up behind her and taps her on the shoulder. She turns around and – when she sees who it is – brightens up a little. But she still seems to be a little frustrated.)

Wendy: Hi, Stan. What's up?

Stan: Wendy, can I talk to you behind the tree for a moment?

Wendy: Sure. (She tosses the ball to Red and goes with Stan to the tree) Why did you want to talk here? I mean, there's nothing wrong with- (She's quickly cut off. Stan seizes her by her coat and locks his lips against hers. Wendy is caught almost completely off guard, appearing very startled at first. But she quickly finds herself enjoying the moment. She closes her eyes and kisses Stan back. After about fifteen seconds, they come apart).

Stan (deviously): Because I didn't want to make a show in front of the others. I just wanted to tell you… I'd be happy to meet up with you after school. In fact, how about we walk home together?

Wendy (happily): That sounds wonderful. History is the only subject I really am not too certain about.

Stan: I'm happy to help. Although, of course, it doesn't have to strictly be a **business **meeting. (He kisses her again with a little less vigor, but just as much passion)

Wendy: Now you're talkin'. My parents won't be home until dinner; we'll have the whole afternoon to ourselves.

Stan: Great. I'll see you after school. (He walks away to meet up with his friends, looking as if he is walking on air.)

**Review, please. I'd like to know how you like the story so far. The reason it's in script format is because I'm trying as much as possible to make this seem like an actual episode of South Park. The next chapter should be up soon!**


	3. The Early Symptoms

(Cut to: South Park Elementary Interior, 4th Grade Hallway. Several students are either at their lockers or walking down the corridor to their next class. Quincy is walking with Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny down the hall. Cartman appears to be in the middle of telling a joke.)

Cartman: So then, that's when I said "You put the flash drive in the wrong hole." (Kyle, Kenny, and Quincy laugh)

Quincy: That is quite a clever joke, Eric. I don't understand why it is that so many people seem to avoid you; anyone with a sense of humor like yours should theoretically be extremely popular in their age group.

Kyle (glaring slightly at Cartman): Try hanging out with Cartman for as long as Kenny, Stan, and I have, Quincy. **Then** you'll understand why he isn't that popular.

Quincy (looking around the hallway in various directions): Say, where is your friend Stan? (Stan then appears from the side) Oh, there he is.

Stan: Hey, guys. What's going on? (The others notice that he appears to be in a very bright mood).

Kyle: Nothin' much; we're just talking with Quincy. Why do you look so happy, Stan?

Stan (smiling dreamily): I got a date with Wendy after school.

Kyle: Oh, that's nice. (They all stop walking)

Cartman: Wait, **right **after school?

Stan (still smiling): That's correct.

Cartman: Dude, we're supposed to go Faith Hilling at the café!

Stan: So? We can always do that another time.

Kyle: Stan, we always go Faith Hilling at the café around this time of the month!

Stan (frowning slightly): I have an idea. How about **you guys **get girlfriends, too? After that, you can decide which is more important to you: keeping up with pop-culture trends or maintaining a stable love life. (He walks away from the group; the others just watch him leave.)

Kenny (muffled): He **does **have a point.

Cartman: Guess we'll just have to Faith Hill with him.

Kyle: No way. Faith Hilling isn't fun unless we're all involved!

Cartman: Goddammit. What other options does that leave us with? What's something the three of us could do without Stan? (There is a short pause.)

Quincy: Well, I know that my sister and I have only just arrived in South Park, but I was thinking; maybe you guys would like to swing by my house for a while? (The others turn their eyes to him and think for a moment.)

Cartman (rubbing his chin): Depends… what part of town do you live in? 'Cause if you live on the opposite side of the railway line, forget it.

Quincy: What's wrong with the section of neighborhood on the opposite side of the railway line?

Cartman: That's commonly known around here as "the ghetto." (Kenny angrily slaps Cartman on the back of his head.) Ay! Kenny, what the hell was that for?

Kenny (muffled): I live on the opposite side of the railway line, fat-ass!

Cartman (indifferent): I know. That's my point.

Quincy: I don't live in this "ghetto." My family moved into one of those large houses near the center of the district.

Kyle: The center of the district? Hey, that's where Token's house is located!

Cartman (to Quincy): Is your family rich? All the richest people in South Park live in that part of town.

Quincy: Rich is a relatively loose term. My father is a natural science manager and my mother is a particle physicist; their combined annual income is approximately 300 grand before taxes. But before they got their current jobs, they both worked for a special division in the CIA. Their work in that department made them well over a million dollars.

Cartman (whistling): Dude, kick-ass.

Kyle (to Cartman and Kenny): Well guys, what do you think? Should we take Quincy up on his offer? (The other two nod their heads vigorously). Alright, Quincy; we're all agreed. We'd love to stop by your house.

Quincy: Thank you, it pleases me to know that I've made a good first impression. (Cartman and Kenny start walking toward their next class)

Cartman (over his shoulder): That's the thing, man; money always makes a good first impression.

Kenny (muffled): For once, I agree with you. (Quincy and Kyle are left alone in the center of the hallway)

Kyle: Don't mind them; Kenny's not so bad once you get to know him. But Cartman… be careful around him.

Quincy (smirking): I'll keep that in mind.

(Cut to: South Park Elementary, Exterior. The final bell rings and the students gleefully exit the building. Stan and Wendy slowly exit the building together. From a distance, they appear to merely be walking side-by-side. But upon a closer look, it is shown that the two of them are holding each other's hands. They are smiling merrily and every now and then, they look at each other out of the corners of their eyes. Once they turn on the sidewalk, they encounter Lola.)

Lola: Hey, Wendy. Hey, Stan.

Stan: Hi, Lola (He says this sincerely, but his attention is still focused almost entirely on Wendy).

Wendy: What's up, Lola?

Lola: Juliana invited me, Bebe, and Red to come by her house after school. She said that her brother also invited your friends, Stan. Maybe the two of you would like to join us? (Stan thinks only for about a fraction of a second before answering.)

Stan: No thanks, Lola; Wendy and I have some work we need to do.

Lola (scoffs): Guys, there's more to life than work! It's not every day that two kids who are both smart and rich move into the neighborhood!

Wendy: Lola, Stan and I aren't just doing **work**.

Lola: What do you… mean? (Lola is initially confused, but quickly catches on to what Wendy is implying) Oh, I get it. Well, you guys have fun. I'll tell the others you were busy. (She leaves. Stan and Wendy are left alone.)

Stan (deviously): Well, now that we've gotten rid of her, how about we head over to your place?

Wendy (smirking): Now you're talkin'! (The two of them head off to the Testaburger Residence)

(Cut to: Testaburger Residence Exterior. We get a bit of that typical music that is played whenever the scenario is alternated.)

(Cut to: Testaburger Residance Interior, Living Room. Stan and Wendy are sitting on the couch. They have their backpacks open on the coffee table. They are both looking through their history textbooks for useful information.)

Stan (reading): Let's see here… during the Napoleonic Era, the Russian Empire pursued a more aggressive approach in holding off the French armies. (Every few seconds, he shifts his gaze from the textbook to Wendy.)

Wendy: Right; it wasn't until the Bolshevik Revolution that the Soviet Union rose to power. They had two main factions: the Reds and the Whites. (She does the same thing with Stan)

Stan: We probably would've had the Blues, too, if such a revolution was ever to occur in the U.S. (They both scoff)

Wendy: A lot of people still have "the blues," if you know what I mean. (They scoff some more)

Stan (putting his book down): Well, all this stuff seems pretty straightforward to me. Could I see your paper, Wendy? Maybe if I could get an idea of what you have so far, we'll know what specifically to look for.

Wendy (nodding): Sure, Stan (She reaches in to her backpack and pulls out a folder. She opens it up and removes four papers paper-clipped together. She hands them to Stan. In the process, she scoots a little closer to him and rests her hand on his leg. He seems a little startled.) Does that bother you?

Stan: Well, uhh… (Wendy begins rubbing his leg back and forth in a very sensual manner. Stan strangely finds himself becoming aroused. He just grins). Nah, I'm alright. (Wendy rubs his leg a little faster as he looks through her papers. He stops on page three and focuses his attention on a certain paragraph) Hey, wait, what's this?

Wendy: What's what?

Stan: Take a look at this paragraph right here. I'm not certain what exactly it's supposed to mean. (Wendy leans a little closer to get a look at the paper; then she notices that Stan's pointing at a blank spot. Just when she realizes this, Stan puts his arm around her, pulls her close, and kisses her on the forehead. She just giggles in response)

Wendy: I know what it means now.

Stan: Good. I was hoping you would. (He keeps his arm wrapped around her shoulders while she lies her head against his chest and continues rubbing his leg) Now, let's get serious.

Wendy (sensually): Yes, let's…

(Cut to: A tall, tan house in the center of the district of South Park. It is large and very well-adorned. This is the Morales Residence. It's almost as large as Token's house; only it doesn't have that single room at the top. At the front of the house, eight children are walking up the sidewalk to the front door. At the front of the group are Quincy and Juliana. The others are Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, Bebe, Red, and Lola.)

Juliana: Well, here it is. Our new house.

Cartman: Dude, sweeeeeeet.

Quincy: I need a moment to get the key (he takes off his backpack, opens it up, and starts looking through it. While he searches, the others talk)

Kyle: This is a really nice house.

Red: I hope the inside is just as beautiful as the outside.

Lola: I'm sure it will be.

Kenny (muffled): Though I wonder what their parents are like.

Bebe: Oh, yeah. That's a good call. So far, all we know about their parents is that they once worked for the CIA, and they're both employed in some form of advanced science.

Cartman: I've seen this kind of thing before: brianiac kids with rich parents who happen to be scientists. I'll bet they're the typical nerdy anti-social workaholics you'd expect to encounter under these conditions.

Juliana: Don't be certain about that, Eric (Cartman quickly covers his mouth with his hands; he did not intend for Quincy or Juliana to overhear him). Our parents may actually surprise you.

Quincy: Ah, here we go! (He pulls his house key out of his backpack. Then he uses it to unlock the front door. He and the others pile inside.)

(Cut to: The Morales Residence, Interior. The foyer encompasses a thirty-feet-by-forty-five-feet perimeter, making a total area of 1,350 square feet. There are several pieces of furniture spread around the room. Cartman whistles in amazement. There is a staircase opposite the front door that leads directly to the second floor. On either side of the staircase, there is another door which connects to an adjacent room.)

Juliana: Just leave your backpacks and stuff here in the foyer. (Everyone removes their backpacks and places them on some hooks located to the left of the front door.)

Quincy: (turns to the staircase) Mom, Dad, we're home! (Footsteps are heard upstairs. They sound as if they are approaching the staircase. Before long, two adults in their early thirties approach the top of the stairwell. One of them is a man with black hair, a green shirt, and blue jeans. The other is a woman with long blonde hair, a violet shirt, and blue jeans. Both of them have white coats that are very similar to Quincy and Juliana's white coats. The two of them brightly smile down at their children.)

Father: How was your first day of school at South Park Elementary?

Juliana: It was great; quite enjoyable.

Mother: We're thrilled to hear that. (The two of them make their way down the stairs. Once they are on the ground floor, they move over to the group. The man picks up Juliana and the woman picks up Quincy. They embrace their children lovingly. Bebe, Red, and Lola smile, finding the sight to be quite "adorable," while Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny try to stop themselves from laughing out loud.)

Quincy (turns to the other children): Guys, these are our parents – Aaron and Sylvia Morales.

Juliana (speaking to her parents): Mom, Dad, these are some of our new friends.

Aaron (smiles at the group): Welcome to our home. How are you all doing?

Bebe, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle, Lola, & Red: Fine.

Sylvia: Excellent. We always enjoy having company, especially when our children are the new kids in school. (She puts Quincy back on the ground while Aaron sets Juliana back down)

Cartman: (takes off his hat and steps forward, trying to sound elegant) Mr. and Mrs. Morales, it is a privilege to finally meet you.

Aaron: What do you mean?

Cartman: I have long been an admirer of your work. Your children told us that you once worked for the CIA. However, that never told us that they were related to **the **Aaron and Sylvia Morales.

Sylvia: You are familiar with our work?

Cartman: Yes, indeed. However, I would like to learn more about it from you.

Aaron (he and his wife smile): Very well, we can talk about that later, Mr… ?

Quincy (to his parents): Mom, Dad, this is Eric. Eric Cartman. The two gentlemen behind him are Kyle Broflovski and Kenny McCormick.

Kyle: Hey.

Kenny (muffled): What's up?

Sylvia (gesturing to the girls): And who are these fine young ladies?

Juliana: These are Bebe Stevens, Rebecca Logan, and Lola Wagner.

Lola: Nice to meet you.

Red: Just call me "Red."

Bebe: Hello. This is quite a nice house you have here.

Aaron: Well, would you children like a quick tour of it? (Everyone looks at each other, and then nods) Very well. Come this way. (He walks off towards the left side of the room. Everyone follows him. However, Kyle pulls Cartman off to the side)

Kyle (whispering so that no one else can hear): Can we talk?

Cartman (doing the same): What? What do you want?

Kyle: Cartman, what the hell are you doing? You've never mentioned knowing anyone by the name of "Morales." How could you be an admirer of them?

Cartman (lightly scoffs): I'm not. I never even heard of them until today.

Kyle: Then why did you claim to know them?

Cartman: Kyle, think of it like this: a rich couple with children just moved into our quiet mountain town. Not only are they rich, but they have affiliation with the CIA. Don't tell me that doesn't just spell "opportunity."

Kyle (suspiciously): What do you mean by "opportunity?"

Cartman (grinning wickedly): It's simple. We would seek to benefit greatly by getting on Mr. and Mrs. Morales' good side.

Kyle: That's not going to happen. Everyone in town knows that you're a sneaky, exploitative, manipulative-

Cartman (cutting him off): Wrong, smart-ass. The Moraleses** don't** know that. You just watch as I become their closest friend in town.

Kyle (rolling his eyes): Fine, whatever.

Sylvia (from across the room): Eric, Kyle, are you coming?

Cartman: We'll be right there. (Turns to Kyle once more)

Kyle: You go ahead and make a fool of yourself. I'm just going to try to be a good neighbor the old-fashioned way.

Cartman: You do that. But I'll show you that I'm even better than Jews at Jewing someone out of their money. (The two of them end their conversation and rejoin the group)

(Cut to: The Testaburger Residence Interior, Living Room. Stan and Wendy are sitting on the couch in much the same position as before. The only difference is that Wendy is rubbing Stan's leg a little faster. He has just finished reading over her paper.)

Stan: Well, Wendy… it looks as if you've pretty much finished your paper already. Why did you ask me for my help on it?

Wendy (sweetly): I wanted a second opinion. And your opinion means the most to mean.

Stan (looks down at her, grinning): Really? Even more than Bebe's opinion?

Wendy (giggling): Sure, Bebe is my best friend, but you're my boyfriend. As you boys always say – "Bros before hoes."

Stan (chuckling): I didn't know girls lived by that philosophy, too.

Wendy: Not all of us; just some. (There is a short pause between them as their eyes meet in an electric moment. Then Stan puts down the paper, places his hands on Wendy's cheeks, brings her closer and kisses her full on the mouth. She returns the kiss affectionately. They remain like this for twenty seconds before they come apart for air. Once they have regained their breath, Stan reaches for his backpack. He removes a folder from it.)

Stan: Now then, let's take a look at my paper and compare it with yours.

Wendy: Yes, let's. Then we can decide who has the stronger argument. (Stan looks through his paper and mumbles the content under his breath. However, it is notable that he is not as focused on the paper as he appears to be; every few seconds, he pauses to savor the soothing rub-down Wendy is giving his leg. After about thirty seconds, he takes his left arm and puts it around her shoulders. He uses his left hand to gently massage her side. She is enjoying this sensation just as much as he enjoys the leg rub.)

(Cut to: the Morales Residence Interior, Second Floor Hallway. Aaron and Sylvia are leading the eight children from room to room and describing its significance or importance.)

Aaron: To your left is our observatory. We have several telescopes aligned at the windows so that we can observe the astronomical changes in the position of the stars. You know, astronomy is just as good a way to tell the time of day as a clock or a sun-dial.

Bebe: Wow, that's cool. I never knew that.

Sylvia: And now you do. Now, to the right is our workshop. Anything and everything we need to accomplish our jobs is available in there. We also manage most of our experiments in there as well. However, you mustn't go in there without the proper safety equipment.

Lola: What would that be?

Sylvia: Basically, a white lab coat and goggles. Just the everyday items a physicist or a chemist would use.

Kyle: I suspected as much. (The group moves further down the hall until they arrive at a set of double doors)

Red: What's behind here?

Aaron: Oh, this… this is the master bedroom. This is where my wife and I sleep.

Quincy: And, of course, where they do more of their own personal "experimenting." (All the children laugh.)

Sylvia (Both she and her husband have turned a little red in the face): Thank you for "clarifying" that for them, Quincy. Now, upstairs on the third floor, we have something that we're certain you children are going to love. (The group heads back to the stairwell and proceeds to the third floor)

Cartman (whispering to the others): Guess I was wrong. Their parents aren't nerds.

Red: Eric, I never thought I'd ever hear you say you were wrong about anything.

Lola: Yeah, me either. I sooner expected someone like Obama to say that before you.

Cartman (scoffing): Obama? Lola, there are some people in this world who are either too foolish or too arrogant to admit they were wrong.

Kyle: Funny. I always thought you were the most foolish and arrogant person alive. (The girls and Kenny laugh.)

Cartman: Laugh all you want, Kyle. Just wait and see who's laughing when one of us becomes the Morales family's best friend.

(Cut to: the Testaburger Residence Interior, Living Room. Right now, Stan and Wendy have finished looking over their papers. They are also making even more intimate contact then before. Wendy is rubbing the inner part of Stan's leg; her hand is just a few inches away from his pelvis. Stan still has his left army over Wendy's shoulders and is using his hand to delicately caress the side of her chest. As he moves his hand closer towards the center of her chest, he can feel her developing breasts, which are small but are nicely forming.)

Stan: Well, Wendy, we've looked through both our essays, and I must say; everything seems to be in order with yours.

Wendy (smiling): That's great, Stan. I can finally put this paper out of my mind for a while.

Stan (he looks down at her): So, is our work finished here?

Wendy: Yeah… our work is. Now how about we have a little "fun" for a while?

Stan (widely grinning): Alright. What time is it?

Wendy (looks at the clock on the wall): 4:30. My parents won't be home for two hours.

Stan: Perfect. (He leans in and kisses her on the cheek. Then he turns himself so that he's facing her. He takes his hands and rests them on her sides. He slowly lowers her down onto the couch; she carefully pulls him towards her. The two of them slightly close their eyes and begin making out. After about fifteen seconds of this, they begin to rest themselves in a very intimate position. Even though they are still fully clothed, they are already deeply inhaling and exhaling. Neither of them seems to feel uncomfortable about what they are doing. Some romance music plays in the background as they get more and more intimate.)

(Cut to: the Morales Residence Interior, Third Floor. The group of ten has just stopped outside a door with a computer panel on either side. Aaron and Sylvia turn to the children)

Aaron: How many of you are fans of Star Trek? (Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, Bebe, and Lola all raise their hands. Everyone then looks at Red; she's the only one without a raised hand.)

Sylvia: Not that into Star Trek, Rebecca?

Red: No, I do like it, but my best friend Kevin Stoley and I prefer Star Wars more.

Aaron: Oh, alright then. Are you at least familiar with the concept of the holodeck from the later series?

Red: Yes, I am. Why do you ask?

Sylvia: Because this room functions by the same principles as the holodeck. (She pushes one of the buttons on the left panel and the door opens. The room on the other side is covered ceiling, wall, and floor with a grid-like pattern. Aaron and Sylvia gesture for the children to step inside. Once everyone is in, Aaron closes the door.)

Aaron: Quincy and Juliana made this themselves while we lived in Wyoming. It damn near saved our lives; there are very few items of interest up there. I guess it was only fortunate that it was portable.

Cartman: So, what exactly does it do?

Aaron: Just watch. (He moves off to a panel on the wall and types something in. Within moments, the grids fade away and everyone finds themselves standing in what appears to be the Morales family's front yard.)

Bebe: Is it a teleporter?

Sylvia: No, Bebe; it's a very complex combination of projectors, illusory probes, and motion trackers. This room only covers about fifteen feet in any direction. However, try running to that bush over there. (Bebe sees a bush on the opposite side of what appears to be the street. It seems to be about fifty feet away. She slowly walks over to it and then looks back.)

Bebe (yelling so that the others can hear her): So? What did that accomplish?

Aaron (calling back): You probably feel as if you've travelled fifty feet. In reality, you never moved from your original spot. You just appeared to move that much to the rest of us.

Bebe: But if I never moved, then how come I have to yell so that you can hear me?

Cartman (whispering to Kenny and Kyle): I thought she **always **had to yell in order to get people to hear her. (Kenny and Kyle laugh)

Kenny (muffled): No kidding, dude.

Sylvia: That's another feature the program has to offer. For every foot you appear to move from the rest of us, the computer uses a voice damper to give the impression of sound fading further away.

Lola: Wow. This is awesome.

Cartman: What other programs can this thing do?

Aaron: I'll show you (he moves back over to the wall with the panel and presses a few buttons. The program ends, and the scenery fades away. The grid-like pattern returns to the room, and sure enough, Bebe is standing right where she was standing before the program began. She doesn't feel displaced or disoriented in any way, however. Aaron looks back at the children.) Now then, what would you like to see next?

Kyle: Could you hold on a moment? There's something I need to do. (He reaches around in his pocket and pulls out his cell phone. He begins typing in a phone number)

Cartman: Kyle, what are you doing?

Kyle (still focused on his phone): I'm calling Stan.

Cartman: Why?

Kyle: Because this is something he has **got **to see.

Aaron (looking over at Quincy and Juliana): Who is Stan?

Quincy: He's a friend of Eric, Kyle, and Kenny's. He usually hangs out with them. However, he had plans after school today.

Lola: I think he's still at Wendy's house.

Red: Well, if he is, we should invite her, too.

Cartman: Hey, hey, hey, wait right there! We can't just invite whoever we please. This ain't our house. This house belongs to our new neighbors! **They **decide who can come here and who can't. (He turns to look at Aaron and Sylvia)

Sylvia (to her children): How would you describe your friendship with Stan and Wendy?

Juliana: Oh, they're really easy to get along with.

Quincy: Yeah, and had they not been busy after school, we would have invited them over, too.

Aaron (to Kyle): In that case, you may ask them to come by.

Kyle: Alright…

(Cut to: the Testaburger Residence Interior, Living Room. Stan and Wendy are on the verge of ecstasy. Stan is resting his mouth on Wendy's neck and nibbling at it gently. She moans in pleasure at the sensation. Before long, Stan moves up closer to her and gazes into her eyes adoringly.)

Stan: You know what, Wendy?

Wendy (gasping): What?

Stan: I… I think we're… overdressed.

Wendy (slowly nodding her head). You're right. We… we are. (The two of them begin to unbutton each other's jackets. They do it slowly, savoring each moment. Just before they reach the top buttons, Stan's cell phone goes off. Then they abruptly stop undressing each other and turn their attention to the coffee table. Stan's cell phone is blaring loudly)

Stan (annoyed): Oh, for God's sake! (He slowly reaches over to take it, but Wendy stops him)

Wendy: Just ignore it. (She kisses him again)

Stan: I just want to see who it is first. It could be my Mom or Dad. (He picks up his cell phone and looks at the caller ID.) Oh, it's Kyle.

Wendy (firmly): Don't answer it.

Stan: I have to. It's Kyle.

Wendy (incessantly): Just put the phone down; he'll call back later.

Stan (just as stubbornly): Wendy, c'mon. He wouldn't call me unless it was important. It'll only take a moment.

Wendy (reluctantly): Fine. (The two of them sit up and Stan answers his phone. The next few lines continuously alternate setting from Wendy's living room to the Morales family's "Holo-Room." The setting matches the location of the speaker)

Stan (still breathing heavily): Yeah?

Kyle: Hey, Stan? Are you busy?

Stan: (He looks at Wendy out of the corner of his eye) Not at the moment, why do you ask?

Kyle: Cartman, Kenny, and I are at the Morales family's house. And they have something you have **got **to see!

Stan: What? You called me for **that**?

Kyle (a little surprised): Yeah, what's wrong with that?

Stan: Wendy and I were in the middle of something.

Kyle (raising an eyebrow): I thought you just said you weren't busy.

Stan (still breathing heavily): We… we weren't.

Kyle (a little concerned): Stan, are you alright? You sound like you're having difficulty in breathing.

Stan: Relax, Kyle, I assure you I'm fine.

Kyle: Well, in that case, how about you and Wendy come over to the Morales family's house? It's on the same street as Token's house; you can easily identify it as the large tan house.

Stan: Are you certain Wendy would want to come along?

Kyle: Yeah, of course she would. What I want to show you is fuckin' awesome. Besides, Lola, Bebe, and Red are with us. At the very least, she'd be able to hang out with them. So, what do you say?

Stan (thinks for a while): Uh… okay. We'll be right over. (He hangs up)

Wendy (sitting up): What did Kyle want?

Stan (buttoning up his jacket): He wants us to go over to those new kids' house. He says they've got something that we "have" to see.

Wendy: Didn't Lola say she, Bebe, Red, and your friends would be there?

Stan: Yes, she did. According to what Kyle told me, she's right.

Wendy (buttoning up her jacket): Well, if he insists, I guess we could go. (It is notable that the two of them are no longer euphoric, as opposed to the behavior they exhibited just a few moments earlier. They seem to have calmed down considerably in such a short amount of time.)

Stan: (He gathers up his belongings and puts them into his backpack. He says the next line as he slings his backpack over his shoulder) Alright then, let's go. (He and Wendy walk to the front door and exit the house)

**Review, please! Sorry if I disappointed a few of you by cutting the romance a little short. Believe me, Stan and Wendy will get even closer in the next chapter. I'm still not so certain about having an actual sex scene between them. I mean, if they were teenagers, I would see no dilemma, but this is in the show's current time while they're in the fourth-grade, and a sex scene between two ten year-olds… that's a different story.**

**Oh, well. How do you like the story so far? I'd honestly like to know your thoughts on everything. If anything doesn't make enough sense (such as the "holodeck" bit), I'll be happy to clarify for you.**


	4. The HoloRoom

**Note: Sorry about taking so long to update. I'm just thinking up everything as I go, even though I do have a plan for future chapters. Right now, I'm vacationing with my family in New York. Yesterday we saw Memphis, in a few hours we're seeing Evita, and we're going to see The Book of Mormon tomorrow. Now THAT is something I am really looking forward to. However, after watching the season 15 episode "Broadway Bro Down," I'm going to be very careful when I sit next to my sister at the musicals (heh heh heh).**

(Cut to: The Morales Residence Exterior. Stan and Wendy approach the mansion and stop at the front door. Stan knocks on the front door a few times. It is answered by Kyle.)

Kyle: Hey, guys! Glad you could make it!

Stan (a little aggravated): I hope you're not wasting our time, Kyle. (Kyle appears to be a little surprised by the tone in his best friend's voice.)

Kyle: Don't worry, Stan; I'm sure this will be worth your while. (Stan and Wendy walk inside the house and Kyle closes the door behind them.)

(Cut to: The Holo-Room. Aaron is standing at the panel on the wall and he enters a code into the main console. After a few moments, the grid-like pattern covering the room disappears once again. It is replaced by the sudden appearance of a grand-scale wild landscape. Trees appear to be all over the room, and the group is standing near the edge of what appears to be a cliff.)

Red: Where are we now?

Sylvia: We are now in our own recreation of the world from that one movie that nobody really cares about but made a lot of money at the box office.

Kenny (muffled): Titanic?

Aaron: No, the other James Cameron one.

Lola: Oh, you mean Avatar.

Cartman (angrily): Don't mention that filth. Cameron stole my idea without consulting me first.

Juliana: What do you mean, Eric?

Cartman: Around the time Avatar came out, I made a documentary about my time with Smurfs, about how I was an undercover agent working for our class president. My goal was to spy on the Smurfs and get them to move, but I ended up growing attached to them overtime. However, by the time my services were no longer needed, our class president came in and destroyed the Smurfs' territory for their Smurf berries. I called my resulting DVD "Dances with Smurfs."

Quincy: You have quite an imagination. At least, I assume you're joking.

Cartman: Yeah, I admit that I made all that up as a way to expose our class president, but I didn't plan on her to go along with it when I confronted her. She claimed that she only "exterminated" the Smurfs for a fuel source. Then she told me that she wrote her own version of the "affair" and sold the rights to James Cameron. So that butthole used MY idea to make money.

Aaron: Who is your class president?

Cartman: As it turns out, Wendy. The same Wendy who's coming over with our friend Stan. Shortly after that crappy Avatar film came out, she "relinquished" her position to me in order to shut me up.

Bebe: A smart move, if you ask me.

(The door to the Holo-Room opens and Kyle, Stan, and Wendy walk in. Kyle closes the door behind them.)

Quincy (to his parents): Mom, Dad, this is Stan Marsh and Wendy Testaburger. (To Stan and Wendy) Stan, Wendy, these are our parents – Aaron and Sylvia.

Stan (cordially): Nice to make your acquaintance.

Wendy (politely): Thank you for having us over.

Aaron: Welcome to our home. We were just showing your friends our Holo-Room. (Stan and Wendy look around, amazed by the scenery and the detail of the landscape.)

Wendy: Is this real?

Sylvia: No, it is all an illusion. However, we have rigged this room to replicate the sights, sounds, and smells of an actual rainforest. At the moment, the room appears to cover miles in any direction. In reality, it only covers a total of 225 square feet. Here, I'll show you what I mean. (She turns to Cartman) Eric, go stand over near the end of the room.

Cartman (shrugging): Okay. (He turns around and starts walking away from the others. After a moment, he comes to the edge of the cliff. He stops there and looks down worriedly.)

Aaron: Keep walking.

Cartman: I don't think I want to.

Quincy: It's only an illusion, Eric. The floor is still in place. (Cartman breathes in deeply and keeps on walking. He expects to fall over the edge of the cliff, but instead, he appears to be suspended in mid-air. He scoffs and walks on. A moment later, he slams into the invisible wall; the wall opposite the entrance of the room. The others laugh as he rubs his forehead)

Cartman (sarcastically): Ha, ha, very funny. What was the point of that? (He still appears to be suspended in mid-air)

Aaron (to the other children): As my wife was saying, this room is only 15 feet by 15 feet, and in its current mode, it still is. However, by making a few minor modifications to the program, we can make this landscape seem be as vast as it would be in real life. (He turns back to the panel and presses a few keys. All of a sudden, Cartman falls off the cliff.)

Cartman (getting distant): Weeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaak! (The other children seem shocked and run to the side of the cliff, expecting to see him making his rapid descent to the ground.)

Stan: Oh my God, they killed Cartman!

Kyle: You saviors! (His friends look at him strangely.) What? What'd I say?

Aaron: Your friend isn't dead, children. He is actually standing exactly where he was in the room a moment ago. He only **thinks** he is experiencing the sensation of falling. (He turns back to the panel and presses a few keys. The landscape disappears, and is replaced once more by the grid-like pattern. Cartman is still in the exact spot he was just a moment earlier, but he is shouting in terror and rolling on the ground.)

Cartman: Oh, God! No, not like this! This sucks so much! Make it stop, Jesus! (He quickly realizes that he is not falling any more. He blinks a few times and then looks up at his friends. After a few moments of silence, his friends roar with laughter. Cartman angrily gets back to his feet and mutter his next line under his breath) Shut the hell up, you stupid hippies.

Kyle (to Stan): Are you glad I called you now?

Stan: I guess so. This is pretty sweet stuff right here.

Sylvia: That's not the end of it (She removes a small electronic gadget from her pocket and holds it up for the children to see). This device can be used to recreate whatever environment one is thinking about at any given moment. It's even more effective than a computer program. Would you like to see how it works? (The children nod. Sylvia walks over to Bebe and hands it to her.) You go first, Bebe. Just put your thumbs on either end and concentrate on the first building or location that comes to your mind. The Holo-Room will reproduce it in front of us.

Bebe: Alright then (She puts her thumbs on the side of the apparatus, closes her eyes, and focuses her mind. A moment later, the Holo-Room goes from the grid-like pattern to the appearance of the second floor of the South Park shopping mall. Bebe opens her eyes and smiles). Cool; it worked!

Lola: Good idea, Bebe. I was thinking about the same thing.

Juliana: Shopaholics, I assume?

Bebe: You know it! I could hang out here all day! (She walks across the second floor walkway to a certain shop. She approaches the glass covering the windows and looks it over.) Wow, the glass even has those distinctive markings on it! This thing is amazing!

Aaron: The Holo-Room only reproduces what you yourself remember of the mall.

Wendy: I guess Bebe's been to the mall more times than any of us; she's recreated it almost flawlessly down to the last detail.

Cartman (under his breath): Talk about a waste of time.

Kyle (to Bebe): Can I try that device next?

Bebe: Sure, Kyle. (She hands it to him. He puts his thumbs on the sides of the device, closes his eyes, and focuses his thought just as Bebe did. After a few seconds, the mall disappears and is replaced by what appears to be a Hebrew Temple.)

Stan: Where are we, now?

Kyle: The Temple at Jerusalem. I've always wanted to see it in person, but I figured this would be the next best way to do so.

Aaron: If you've never been there, then how do you know what it looks like?

Kyle: I've seen a lot of pictures and paintings of it. I just used them to imagine it the best that I could.

Aaron (nodding in approval): That is always an excellent method; if you are uncertain as to what a place looks like, just attempt to piece it together through what you know of it.

Cartman: Nice. Okay, my turn (He takes the device from Kyle and puts his thumbs on the sides.) This Jewish temple gave me an idea. (After about ten seconds, the temple disappears and a black-and-white like landscape replaces it. It appears to be Nazi-Germany; there are rows of marching soldiers with swastikas on their uniforms and helmets, crowds of people raising their left arms into the air, and a short man with a small mustache standing on top a balcony, shouting angrily in German. Kyle and the girls appear to be horrified. Kenny and Stan just roll their eyes. Quincy, Juliana, Aaron, and Sylvia just study the scene in interest)

Aaron: Very impressive, Eric. You must do well in history if you can recreate this.

Kenny (muffled): Give me that, fat-ass! (He swipes the device from Cartman and takes his turn with it. The Nazi-Germany background fades away and is replaced by the Morales Residence Living Room.)

Red: You don't have a very active imagination, do you, Kenny?

Kenny (muffled): This is just the first place that crossed my mind. After all, I like it here already.

Aaron: Thank you, Kenny, we are pleased to hear that.

Cartman (whispering so that only Kenny can hear): Give it up, Kenny. Just because you're poor, that doesn't mean rich people are going to take pity on you (Kenny punches Cartman angrily.) Ow! That hurt, ya poor piece of crap!

Kenny (muffled): Whatever (He tosses the device to Stan, who catches it with both hands). You go next, Stan.

Wendy: Yeah, I'd like to know what's on your mind, Stan.

Stan (smirking): Alright. You'll be glad to know that it has something to do with you, Wendy (When he uses the device, the living room goes away and is replaced by something very different. it is replaced by a dimly-lit bedroom. There are lit candles on all flat surfaces, Elton John music is playing, and a bottle of wine is on the nightstand beside the bed. Wendy looks at Stan and smiles.)

Wendy: I had the exact same thing on my mind, too (Everyone is quite interested in this latest scenario).

Aaron: Both of you must be feeling quite amorous.

Stan (still looking at Wendy): We are, Mr. Morales. (Quincy and Juliana look at each other and raise an eyebrow in interest)

Cartman (mockingly): Two little lovebirds, eh? Just the oldest one in the book. Maybe we should give the two of you some time alone in your little fantasy? Or would things get a little **too** out of hand? (He starts laughing out loud)

Stan: Shut up, Cartman! (Cartman doesn't relent. When he doesn't, Wendy takes the device from Stan and uses it in just the same way as before. The bedroom stays exactly the same, but an anvil materializes about a meter above Cartman and falls directly onto his head.)

Cartman: Ow! (He falls to the ground) Son of a bitch; that hurt! (The others get a good laugh at his expense.)

(Cut to: the Morales Residence Exterior. It is later, around 7:00 at night. Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Wendy, Bebe, Lola, and Red are all about to leave through the front door. They are saying their goodbyes to the Morales family.)

Aaron: You children are certain you cannot stay for dinner?

Kyle: We appreciate the invitation, but all our parents want us home for dinner (The others mutter their agreement).

Sylvia: Well, if you wish, we could have all of you and your parents over here for dinner tomorrow night. (The eight children look around at each other and then back at the Morales family.)

Bebe: I suppose that can be arranged. Here, we'll give you our families' home numbers. (She opens up her backpack, pulls out a pencil with a sheet of loose-leaf paper, and writes her house phone number on the sheet. She then passes the sheet and pencil around to the others so that they can add their own phone numbers to the paper. Once all eight of them have done so, Bebe hands the list to Aaron). Thank you for having us over today. This is a very nice house.

Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Wendy, Lola, and Red: Yeah.

Aaron: We'll call your parents later tonight. Have a safe walk home. (The children all nod and turn to walk down the front walkway. Once they reach the sidewalk, the girls go one way while the boys go the other. But before walking off with their respective groups, Wendy and Stan ardently kiss each other goodnight. This kiss lasts almost a full thirty seconds. Lola, Bebe, and Red smirk while Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny snicker. The Morales family also witnesses this from their porch. Aaron and Sylvia just smile while Quincy and Juliana look at each other out of the corners of their eyes. Both of them appear to suspect that something is wrong. After Wendy and Stan come apart, they bid each other goodnight and head for home.)

(Cut to: South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch. There is a flash of lightning and a tidbit of music from a church organ, even though it is not raining and there are no churches in sight.)

(Cut to: South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch, Interior. Dr. Mephisto is working with his lab assistant Kevin. He is busy studying a slide on a microscope and taking notes on it simultaneously.)

Mephisto: Fascinating, Kevin. This new culture of bacteria is rapidly reproducing. This just might be the type we are hoping to enhance our cross-breeding experiment between the woodpecker and the mouse. (He stands up straight and sits at his desk.) I can only imagine what the offspring would look like. (He rubs his chin and takes more notes by hand. After a few moments, the phone in his office rings. He gets up and walks over to the phone.) Who would be calling at this hour? (He picks up his phone and holds it up to his ear.) South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch. This is Dr. Alphonse Mephisto.

Quincy (over the phone): Dr. Mephisto, this is Quincy Morales. My sister Juliana and I just enrolled in the fourth grade at South Park Elementary.

Mephisto: Yes, I remember you from my presentation this morning. What can I do for you?

Quincy (over the phone): Sir, about your lecture… do you by any chance know the exact number you have of each type of those "regression pills?"

Mephisto: I created exactly three hundred of the ones that cause physical, mental, and intellectual regression, and five hundred of the ones that cause sexual regression. Why do you ask?

Quincy (over the phone): Sir, I know this may sound strange, but I feel I should request that you count up the number of pills that cause sexual regression.

Mephisto: Why?

Quincy (over the phone): I can't say why just yet; I have a hunch that you may be a few short.

Mephisto: Alright then; I'll count them up right now. Would you like me to call you back when I am finished counting?

Quincy (over the phone): If you would please, yes. My number is –

Mephisto (interrupting): No need to give me your number; I already have it thanks to the caller ID. I'll call you back when I have an official count, Mr. Morales.

Quincy (over the phone): Thank you. Goodnight (he hangs up).

Mephisto (sighing): Right. Better get back to work (He moves over to his desk and takes out the bag with the bottles of pills. He takes out the bottle with the red pills, pours them onto the top of his desk, and begins counting them one by one.)

**Sorry this chapter was so short! The next one will be longer, trust me! I just wanted to put something up, as I felt a little guilty for being so overdue for an update. Review, please!**


	5. Close Call

**Note: Well, I'm back from New York! And all the Broadway shows were awesome, especially the Book of Mormon. If you're ever in New York City, you have GOT to try to get into Book of Mormon; it's the greatest musical/play since CATS (maybe even better in some ways)! Matt and Trey use the same sort of humor that they use in South Park. In fact, I'd almost describe the musical as a two-hour live-action South Park special!**

(Cut to: The Marsh Residence, Dining Room. It is around seven-thirty and the family is assembled for dinner. Randy is sitting at the end of the table, Sharon is sitting to his right, Stan is sitting to Randy's left, and Shelly is sitting to Stan's left. They are having ham, potatoes, and greens. While Randy, Sharon, and Shelly are focused primarily on eating, the look in Stan's eyes suggests that he is daydreaming.)

Sharon: So, Shelly, how was school today?

Shelly: Awesome. This one kid's chemistry lab went dangerously wrong and blew up in his face. It was the most hilarious thing I ever saw.

(Awkward pause. Sharon and Randy just look at their daughter blankly)

Randy: That's… lovely, Shelly.

Sharon: Stanley, how was your day at school?

Stan (still daydreaming): What? (He quickly snaps out of his reverie) Oh, it was… it was fine, Mom. Our class has two new students.

Sharon: Quincy and Juliana Morales?

Stan: Yeah, that's them. How did you know?

Randy: We got a call from their parents just before you got home. They wanted to have us over for dinner tomorrow night.

Stan: They said they'd do that. You see, a bunch of my friends and I hanged out at their place after school. They have this really neat place in their house called a "Holo-Room." I'm not entirely certain how it works, but it's got to be a breakthrough in physical science.

Randy: Neat.

Sharon: Their parents did mention that you and your friends were over there after school, but they also mentioned that you and Wendy got there at five o'clock.

Stan (after a moment of silence): So?

Sharon: What were you doing after school got out until then?

Stan (calmly): I was over at Wendy's house.

Sharon: Doing what?

Stan: Working with her on our history essay.

Sharon (slightly suspicious): Your history essay isn't due for a whole week.

Stan: I know. But I was already finished, and she needed help on hers.

Sharon: Stanley, if you were doing something else over at Wendy's house, you can be honest with me.

Randy (looking up at his wife): Sharon, don't badger Stan. If he doesn't want to talk about his personal time with Wendy, he doesn't have to.

Sharon: I know, Randy; I'm just asking.

Stan: Mom, don't worry. Nothing happened at Wendy's house. We just did our homework; nothing else.

Sharon: Okay, Stan; I believe you. (They all resume eating. There is silence for a few moments.) So I won't ask about the lipstick.

Stan (a little stunned): What do you mean?

Sharon: You have lipstick marks all over your face, Stan.

(Stan takes out his cell phone and uses the reflecting surface to examine his face. To his surprise, his mother is correct about the lipstick marks.)

Stan: Oh, uh… let me just rub that off (He picks up his linen napkin and wipes his face clean. When he's done, he sets his napkin back down and acts as if nothing has happened.)

(Cut to: South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch, Interior. Dr. Mephisto is still counting up the number of red pills he has. As he speaks each number aloud, he puts another pill into the bottle.)

Mephisto: 493… (There are three left on the table) 494… (Two left) 495… (One left) 496 (None left. Mephisto pauses for a moment. Then he stands up.). Kevin, I've counted these up three times, and I always come up four short. Of course, two of them were used on the mouse and the woodpecker, but… it would seem as if young Quincy was right. I must have overlooked two of the pills when I spilled them in Mr. Garrison's classroom this morning (There is a short pause). I'd better call Quincy back (He moves over the phone, picks it up, and dials the phone number of the Morales mansion.)

(Cut to: Morales Residence Interior, Living Room. Quincy and Juliana are on their laptops, doing some research on the periodic table of elements. There is a phone on a small table next to the couch they are sitting on.)

Juliana (without looking up from her laptop): Hey, Quincy. Two guys walk into a bar. One tells the bartender "I'm a chemist; I'll just have H2O." The other guy says "I'll have H2O, too." They get their drinks, drink them-

Quincy (interrupting): And the second guy dies.

Juliana: Have I told you that one before?

Quincy: No, I told it to you originally. (They both laugh)

(Once they stop laughing, the phone rings. Quincy gets up to answer it.)

Quincy (calling out): I got it! (He picks up the phone and puts it up to his ear) Hello?

Mephisto (over the phone): Mr. Morales, it's Dr. Mephisto.

Quincy: Hello, Doctor. How many did you come up with?

Mephisto (over the phone): Exactly 496. Factoring out the two I used in your class today, I'm still two short. It looks as though you were right.

Quincy (nervously sighing): Then it's just as I feared.

Mephisto (over the phone): Now may I ask what made you suspicious in the first place?

Quincy: Well, today after school, my sister and I invited over six of the children in our class. Their names are Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, Bebe Stevens, Rebecca Logan, and Lola Wagner. After our parents showed them around the house, Kyle wanted to invite his friend Stan Marsh, along with Stan's girlfriend Wendy Testaburger.

Mephisto (over the phone): That's funny; from what I've heard, Stan spends most – if not all – of his free time with his friends.

Quincy: You'd know that better than I would, sir; my family has only been in this town for a day and a half.

Mephisto (over the phone): Getting back on track, what were you saying about Stan and Wendy?

Quincy: When they arrived at our mansion, we showed them our Holo-Room. It's difficult to describe what this does in full detail, but-

Mephisto (over the phone, interrupting): Is it like the holodeck in Star Trek?

Quincy (stunned): Yes, sir; it's like that exactly. At any rate, we all took turns programming the room to produce whatever place was on our minds. When Stan and Wendy took their turns, they both came out with a dimly-lit bedroom, complete with Elton John music, candles on every surface, and a bottle of wine. Aside from that, they were spending a lot of time at each other's side for the entire two hours they were at our house.

Mephisto (over the phone): Peculiar. I don't quite think that's enough to draw a conclusion about the whereabouts of the missing pills. All the same, I want you to keep an eye on your classmates, and let me know if they demonstrate any type of unusual behavior around each other.

Quincy: Sir, are you asking me to spy on them?

Mephisto (over the phone): No, no, no, of course not. I merely want you to observe them. Study them, if you will. Think of it like that.

Quincy: Alright, you can count on me. I'll call you again tomorrow if anything of the sort happens. (He hangs the phone up and returns to his seat on the couch) Looks as though we just began our first collaborative experiment with Dr. Mephisto.

Juliana (smirking): I heard rumors that things out of the ordinary always happen here. Looks as though those rumors were true (Short pause). I like this town already.

(Cut to: Testaburger Residence Interior, Wendy's Room. Wendy is at her table, running her hairbrush through her hair. She hears someone knock on her door.)

Wendy: Come in. (The door opens and Stan walks in. Wendy turns around, looking a little surprised.) Stan, what are you doing here?

Stan (smiling): I just wanted to see you again. Is that alright?

Wendy: (She seems to hesitate for a moment, and then she smiles, too) It's perfectly fine with me.

Stan: Okay, then. (He approaches Wendy and kisses her on the cheek) How about we pick up where we left off earlier today?

Wendy (deviously): Now you're talking (She walks over to the far wall and turns off the light. Then she walks back to Stan, takes his hand in hers, and leads him over to the bed. They kick off their shoes, hop onto the bed, and face each other. She says this next line very sensually). You might have to jog my memory; where were we?

Stan: I believe we were… right here (He begins unbuttoning her jacket, revealing her white shirt).

Wendy (giggling): Yep, that seems about right… (She in turn begins unbuttoning his jacket. Once they are both finished, they slide their jackets off and lie down facing each other. Stan takes off his hat and Wendy takes off her beret. They toss them to the end of the bed and look towards each other. They run their fingers through each other's black hair, taking in each and every moment of pleasure.)

(Montage: Black Eyed Peas' "Tonight's Gonna Be A Good Night" plays in the background. Stan and Wendy sit up and begin French-kissing. They do it ravenously, both letting their tongues through each other's mouth. Next Wendy lifts Stan's shirt up over his head and admires his chest. He has a good build for a boy of his age. Before long, Wendy has her shirt removed as well. Now they are both under the covers, sweating from excitement and pleasure. Soon they are both under the covers and all their clothes are on the floor.)

Stan (lustfully): Oh, yeah, that's it. Right there! Oh, oh, Wendy!

Wendy (hungrily): Oh, my God, oh… oh, Stan! Stan! Oh, God! (Immediately, the room's setting changes. The lights are off, but Wendy is in bed on her own. She appears to be talking in her sleep) Stan, oh… oh don't stop, Stan! Don't- (She quickly wakes up. She rubs her eyes and looks around, blinking erratically. She folds her arms, frustrated.) Damnit, it was just a dream! (She looks over at her nightstand and notices that her phone is vibrating. She picks it up and sees that Stan has just left her a text message. It says "You awake?" She types back her response "I am right now. What's up?" She waits for a response. It comes through a moment later: "Meet me at my locker before class tomorrow." She writes "I'll be there. See you tomorrow. Love you!" He responds one last time with "Love you, too!" Wendy puts her phone back on her night stand and goes back to sleep.)

(Cut to: South Park Elementary Interior, 4th Grade Hallway. The corridor is mostly empty; only a few people are present. Wendy is at Stan's locker, eagerly waiting for him. He shows up from the left a few seconds later.)

Stan: You really **are **punctual, aren't you?

Wendy (smiling): I guess so. Why'd you want to meet me?

Stan: I just wanted to see you before class began. You want to go somewhere and make out?

Wendy: Sure, but I don't know how many private places there are in the school.

Stan: Oh… you're right. That's one thing I didn't consider. Where could we go?

Wendy (thinking hard): Well, the gym's being set up for P.E., the art room is having more equipment brought in, the classrooms are all occupied, and the cafeteria is still serving breakfast…

Stan (thinking hard): That severely reduces our options. Wait, I got it! (He whispers something into her ear. She seems a little shocked.)

Wendy: Are you sure about that?

Stan: Well, if you've got a better suggestion, I'm listening.

Wendy (shrugging): Good point. Let's do it! (The two of them saunter over to the Boys' Restroom. When no one is looking, they open the door and step inside.)

(Cut to: Boys' Bathroom. Stan and Wendy step up to the first stall and find it empty. They step inside it and close the stall door behind them.)

Stan (whispering): At least the bathroom's clean.

Wendy (whispering): True; can't argue with that. (The two of them close the stall toilet's lid and sit on the top so that their feet cannot be seen under the stall's walls. They silently begin making out. After a few moments, a flushing sound is heard and Butters steps out of the second stall, a look of extreme relief on his face.)

Butters (blissfully): Oh, jeez! I knew I shouldn't have eaten those prunes with that horseradish from Arby's for breakfast. Why do I always let Eric talk me into trying new foods? (He steps up to one of the sinks and is about turn on the water. But before he can, he hears deep breathing. It catches his attention and he curiously tries to pinpoint the source of the commotion. Soon he realizes that it's coming from the first stall. He cautiously approaches the stall and discovers that it is unlocked. He gently pushes the door open to find Stan and Wendy vigorously kissing each other. Butters is so shocked that he looks as if he has been smacked in the face with a two-by-four. Initially, Stan and Wendy pay him no mind. Then Stan happens to look up and freezes in his place.)

Wendy: Stan? What's wrong? (He slowly points towards the stall door. Wendy turns around and notices Butters. She is equally stunned.)

Stan: Umm… hey, Butters. What's up? (Butters appears to be horrified; his mouth is agape and his eyes are focused on the duo.) Butters, this isn't what it looks like.

Wendy: Yeah, we were just… we were just… hanging out, I guess. (Butters remains unchanged)

Butters (slowly): Oh… my… God… (he faints, falling flat on his back. Concerned, Wendy and Stan run to his sides.)

Stan (kneeling down next to him): Butters? Butters, are you okay? (He shakes him a little) Shit, he's passed out! (He pats Butters on his shoulders, trying to revive him) What should we do?

Wendy: We have to get him to the infirmary.

Stan: That's both a good idea and a bad idea. Maybe **you **should go and find the nurse while I wait here. Just tell her that I found Butters here and went out into the hallway to get help, and that you were the first person I ran into. That way, no one will know that you were in here.

Wendy: Smart thinking, Stan. (She gets up and leaves)

(Cut to: the Infirmary. Butters is lying on the examination table while Nurse Bronski takes his blood pressure. Stan and Wendy are standing on the opposite side, looking concerned.)

Stan: Is he alright, Nurse?

Nurse Bronski: I believe so. He only passed out. (She finishes taking Butters' blood pressure and looks over at the other children.) You two can leave now. His parents are on the way.

Wendy: Class doesn't start for a while. We want to be here when he wakes up.

Nurse Bronski (grinning): That's very considerate of you. (Just then, the door opens and Stephen and Linda Stotch walk into the room)

Stephen: We got your call, Nurse Bronski. How is he?

Nurse Bronski: Your son is fine, Mr. and Mrs. Stotch. His friend Stan found him unconscious in the boys' bathroom.

Stephen (to Stan): Thank you for helping him, Stan. Do you know what happened?

Stan: I'm afraid not. He was just lying on the floor when I found him.

Linda: Will he be alright, Nurse?

Nurse Bronski: I don't see any reason why he wouldn't be. He should be coming around any time now. (Butters begins to stir)

Butters: Oh… (He slowly opens up his eyes and sits up, rubbing his forehead. Stephen and Linda walk over to their son and sit down in chairs next to him. He quickly notices their presence.) Mom? Dad? What… what are you doing here?

Linda: Your friend Stan found you in the boys' bathroom. He and Wendy got help and brought you here.

Stephen: Do you remember what happened, Butters?

Butters (struggling to recollect): Well, uh… I think I remember. (Stan and Wendy look at each other nervously) I was just finished with doing my business in the bathroom. I was on my way to wash my hands when I heard some noise in the next stall (Stan and Wendy look as if they're about to faint themselves). It was strange noise; it didn't sound like anybody doing bathroom business. So I decided investigate. I crept over to the stall, slowly opened it up, and then… (Stan and Wendy look mortified. They fretfully wait for Butters to continue. Butters quickly remembers what it was he saw) Oh my, God. I remember now. I saw… (He pauses for a moment)

Linda: What, sweetie? What did you see?

Butters (appearing terrified): I saw… a girl in the boys' room. Oh, good God! (Stan and Wendy seem bewildered by this response). Yes, I remember! There was a girl, right there, in the boys' bathroom! That has to be the most terrifying thing I've ever seen in my life!

Stan (stepping forward): That's it, Butters? You just saw a girl in there?

Butters (nodding heavily): Yeah, Stan. I couldn't believe my eyes. I mean, a girl in the boys' room? That's unbelievable!

Wendy: Do you… recall who it was?

Butters: Umm… no, not really. I just know for a fact that there was a girl in that room. I fainted after seeing her. I guess Stan found me just a few moments later. Luckily for him, the girl must have left by then.

Stephen (crossly): Wait, wait, wait, wait… back up there a minute, Butters. Did you just say… you were "on your way" to wash your hands after you went to the bathroom?

Butters: Umm… well, yeah. I was going to, but I didn't get around to it.

Linda (angrily): You didn't wash your hands, you saw a girl in the bathroom, **and **you fainted?

Butters: Uh, yeah, that's about it.

Stephen (irately): Oh, that does it! As soon as you get home today, you are **grounded**, young man!

Butters: What? Ahh, gosh dangit! (Stan and Wendy look at each other again and both of them breathe a sigh of relief)

(Cut to: 4th Grade Hallway. The bell rings. Stan, Wendy, and Butters are walking to class.)

Stan: Sorry you got grounded, Butters.

Butters: Oh, it's alright Stan; it wasn't your fault. I'm just glad you found me when you did. If someone had found me later, I probably would have been late to class, too. Then I would have been in trouble for four things instead of three. (The three of them arrive at the door to Mr. Garrison's classroom.)

Wendy: You go on in, Butters. We'll be along in a moment.

Butters: Okay, then (He moseys inside. Once the coast is clear, Wendy turns to Stan.)

Wendy: That was a close call. We probably shouldn't try anything like that again.

Stan: You're right. But when's our next opportunity? Passing period is too short, the cafeteria's too crowded at lunch, and during recess we're out in the open.

Wendy: Maybe we'll have to wait until after school.

Stan: I guess so. But when? My parents want me to come home straight away. I'll be busy until… until… (an idea quickly dawns on him) That's it!

Wendy: What? What's "it?"

Stan: Did your parents accept the Morales family's invitation for dinner at their mansion tonight?

Wendy: As far as I know, they did accept.

Stan: Great; mine did do. I have an idea for something we can do tonight at their house. You think you can wait that long?

Wendy (shrugging): I'll try my best. I think I can.

Stan (smirking): Believe me; it'll be something to look forward to (He kisses her kindheartedly on the cheek. Then the two of them step into Mr. Garrison's classroom.).

**Review, please! What do you think so far?**


	6. Tonight's Gonna Be A Good Night

(Cut to: Mr. Garrison's classroom. Mostly everybody is in their seats. Stan takes his seat in-between Token and Kyle and Wendy takes her seat in-between Quincy and Butters. They both get out some paper and pens to prepare to take some notes for class.)

Wendy: (She hums a certain melody to herself while she begins drawing some two-dimensional flowers on the corners of her paper. All the while, she shifts her focus to Stan, who is sitting directly in front of her. While she doodles, Quincy and Juliana begin taking notes. However, they are not taking any notes pertaining to their academics; they are taking notes on Stan and Wendy's behavior. After a few moments, Wendy notices that the Morales twins are gazing at her.) Is everything alright?

Quincy (as he and Juliana turn back to their notes): Yes, yes, of course. Everything is fine.

Wendy: Alright, then (She is still somewhat suspicious, but decides to put that thought aside). So, how many of the others accepted your parents' offer?

Juliana: What offer?

Wendy: You know, when they said they would invite us all over to dinner?

Quincy: Oh, you mean **that **offer! (He scoffs) As it turns out, we'll have a full house tonight. Everyone we invited agreed to come by.

Stan (looking over his shoulder): Cool. I'd like to ask; will it be a formal or a casual dinner?

Juliana: Most likely, it will be formal; our parents like to use an elegant approach when making first impressions on new neighbors.

Stan: Smart thinking. First impressions are really important. Too bad most people don't realize that when they're on their first date.

(At that same time, Butters is playing Angry Birds on his iPad. After completing one level, he achieves a three-star rating.)

Butters: Alright, take that, you pig bastards! (Cartman leans backwards diagonally and rests his arm on Butters' desk. Soon, Butters notices this and looks up) Oh, what's up, Eric?

Cartman (whispering): Butters, I need to borrow your iPad for a moment.

Butters: Why? What for?

Cartman: I can't say why at the moment. Just let me see it (Butter hesitates, and then hands over his iPad). Thanks (Cartman closes out of Angry Birds and opens up an Internet Explorer tab. He types in "CIA high priority access files" and clicks on the first item that pops up. Then he enters a series of complex codes into the subsequent mainframe. Butters looks over Cartman's shoulder, feeling rather curious).

Butters: Eric, What are you doing?

Cartman (quietly): I'm hacking into the CIA network.

Butters: Why?

Cartman: I need to look up the files of Quincy and Juliana's parents. If I can manage that, I'll be able to read all about their line of work.

Butters: Why do you want to know about that?

Cartman: I stopped by their house yesterday. They are very rich, Butters. I figure that if I at least pretend to know everything about their work, I can get on their good side, which could come with nice, healthy benefits.

Butters: But why exactly do you need **my **iPad for this? Why couldn't you just use yours?

Cartman (not taking his eyes off the screen): For two reasons: One, my iPad isn't from Apple; it's so slow and crappy that I doubt it could handle the complexities of the CIA database, and two, I need to make certain that what I'm doing is legal.

Butters (a little stunned): What… what do you mean?

Cartman: Unauthorized entry into top secret government files is a federal offense, Butters. If this is the case with the CIA, they would most definitely notice that someone had hacked into the system. They could then track the source to its exact location. For that reason, I couldn't do it from my house or use my own iPad.

Butters (scared): But… but, Eric… wouldn't that incriminate me?

Cartman: No, of course not, Butters. The CIA would never suspect someone like you.

Butters: Eric, are you sure this is worth the risk? I'm already in enough trouble with my parents as it is.

Cartman (sighing): Butters, if I get away with this, I'll share my benefits with you.

Butters (easing down a little): You will?

Cartman: Of course. But I need your full cooperation.

Butters: Well… (He sits thinking for a moment, looking around and rubbing his hands together nervously. Soon, he gives Cartman his answer) al-alright.

(Kyle has overheard most of their conversation. He angrily gazes at Cartman out of the corner of his eye. Stan notices this and leans over to his best friend.)

Stan: Kyle, just ignore him. Nothing you can say will make him change his mind.

Kyle (still glaring at Cartman): I know, Stan; I just wish that Cartman would not try to exploit every rich or upper-class family that moves into town. It's probably thanks to him that this town has remained so small and suburban.

Stan: Nothing we can do will stop him, that's for certain. Besides, we all know he's just going to wind up embarrassing himself as always.

(Mr. Garrison enters the classroom carrying a stack of papers.)

Mr. Garrison: Okay, children, settle down please (the students quiet down and focus their attention on their teacher). Now, before we begin, I need to hand out these flyers. Principal Victoria insisted that you be given them as early as possible (He moves around the classroom and gives one sheet of paper to each student. The students take them and read them over as Mr. Garrison continues passing more sheets out).

Wendy: What are these, Mr. Garrison?

Mr. Garrison (walking up to his desk): Announcements for the school musical. Auditions for it will be held next Monday.

Cartman: Wow, that's pretty gay, Dude. Why would anyone want to take part in something so degrading?

Quincy: How nice to see that this school has a performing arts department.

Juliana: Indeed; our parents will be thrilled to know about this.

Cartman (quickly changes his tone): I mean, boy, this is going to be awesome! I love musicals, don't you all? (No one responds)

Wendy: Why couldn't the faculty just put these up in the hallways? I'm certain everyone would have been able to see them fine from there.

Mr. Garrison: Because this year, we're doing three different musicals. One will involve the fourth grade class, one will involve the fifth grade class, and one will involve the sixth grade class.

Kyle: Does that mean we all have to try out?

Mr. Garrison: Yep, you all have to participate.

Class: Awwwww!

Bebe: Why do we all have to contribute? Why do we even have three musicals?

Mr. Garrison: Because many of the students' parents put in requests for the school to have a more diverse art department. So upon their requests, the school board expanded the performing arts section.

Kenny (muffled): This has got to be gayer than Clay Aiken. (Several of the other students laugh)

Stan (looking over his shoulder at Wendy): I'll bet my Dad had something to do with this. He's been trying to get more musicals into the town ever since he and my Mom went to New York.

Wendy: Oh, well; at least we'll have a bit more culture in our school.

Stan: True. I just hope I'm as good as Bridon Gueermo!

Wendy (chuckling): Stan, relax! Bridon has **nothing **on you!

Stan (turning around to fully face her): Thanks for saying that; that means a lot to me.

Wendy (grinning): No problem (The two of them lean closer to each other and kiss on the lips. They prepare to pull apart, but move in for another kiss. Stan rests his hand on the back of Wendy's head as if to keep her in place. Several of the other students watch them and giggle. Quincy and Juliana take more notes on their behavior).

Mr. Garrison: Stanley, would you mind taking your tongue out of Wendy's mouth and paying attention? (At this, Stan quickly pulls away from Wendy and turns around)

Stan: Sorry, I, uh… I lost a contact lens down her throat (Several of the students laugh).

Mr. Garrison: Stanley, you don't wear contacts.

Stan (looking a little nervous): I never said it was **my **contact (The class laughs louder).

Mr. Garrison (rubbing his chin): So **that's **where it went. I could've sworn I lost it somewhere else (The class chortles. Once the class settles down, Mr. Garrison turns to the board and picks up a piece of chalk). Okay, children; now let's get back on track. Last week's episode of Breaking Bad featured…

(The rest of his dialogue is drained out. Wendy taps on Stan's shoulder. She whispers something in his ear which makes him grin deviantly.)

Stan (quietly, lustfully): You naughty girl… (She smirks back at him as Quincy and Juliana keep an eye on them. Stan whispers something into Wendy's ear, which appears to arouse her.)

Wendy (quietly): You're going to do that… with me?

Stan: No, I'm still won't be done with you by then (This seems to excite her more).

(Quincy leans over to his sister and whispers something into her ear. She just nods in response.)

Juliana: I agree. For a town that regularly faces below-freezing temperatures, icy surfacing on houses, and huge amounts of snow for eleven months of the year, South Park has pretty hot and steamy romances.

(Cut to: 4th Grade Hallway. Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny are making their way to lunch. Kyle still has his copy of the flyer in his hands, as he seems to be rather interested in its content.)

Kyle: I never thought I'd actually participate in a school musical. I just hope I don't sound like an idiot when I sing.

Cartman: Relax, Kyle. Jews can sing.

Kyle (raising an eyebrow suspiciously): I'm glad you think so.

Cartman: I actually have this great idea for our audition. The four of us could try out as a quartet and sing an excerpt from an Italian opera. But, we can rewrite the lyrics so that we're actually singing dirty insults at everyone! Seeing as how we'd be singing in another language, we cannot possibly get busted for it!

Kyle: Unless one of the judges knows Italian, of course.

Cartman: Yeah, right. Give me a break, Kyle. Who in this day and age gives two craps about that dying language?

Kyle: Cartman, Italy has won the Best Foreign Language Film Oscar at the Academy Awards ten times.

Cartman: True, but how many times has it won since the year 2000?

Kyle (after a moment's pause): None. The last Italian movie to win Best Foreign Language Film was Life Is Beautiful in 1998.

Kenny (muffled): On the subject of Italy, did you guys know that Vatican City has the lowest age of consent out of any country in the world? You can legally get laid when you turn 12 years old.

Cartman (surprised): Really?

Stan: No, that has **got **to be bullshit, Kenny!

Kenny (muffled): I'm not joking; look it up. As you turn 12, you can have sex without getting in trouble with the law.

Stan: Wow, and I thought **French **people had the most trouble controlling their urges (Kyle and Kenny laugh).

Cartman: Oh, you're one to talk, Stan! Wendy almost looked as if she was going to choke on your tongue this morning during class.

Stan: Shut up, Cartman! People kiss like that all the time.

Kyle: Actually, Cartman did raise a good point. Ever since recess yesterday, you seem to be more and more focused on spending time with Wendy than anything else.

Stan (slightly irate): So? What does that matter? I have an obligation to give her my time and attention. After all, the main reason she broke up with me once was because I couldn't make time for her.

Kyle: I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, Stan, but for the past day, you haven't exactly been… discreet.

Stan (sarcastically): Oh, really? I haven't been **discreet**? Why do you care?

Kyle (alarmed): Dude, calm down. That's another thing; whenever we bring up your relationship with Wendy, you seem to get aggravated really easily.

Stan: Maybe that's because it's a private matter and none of your business. And besides, who are you to call me irritable? I mean, you have the shortest temper out of anyone I know, Kyle!

Kyle (slightly offended): What? That is horseshit!

Kenny (muffled): Actually, dude, I think he's right.

Cartman: Yeah, Kyle. No offense, but you can fly off the handle really easily.

Kyle (angrily): Well whenever I do, it's your fault most of the time, fat-ass!

Cartman: Oh, sure, try to pin everything on me!

Kenny (muffled): Actually, **you** are the one to blame for a lot of things!

Cartman (taken aback): Is that how this is going to be? The two of you try to bring me down? Well it ain't gonna work!

(As Cartman continues arguing with Kenny and Kyle, Stan walks off, rolling his eyes. He spots Wendy down the hallway and runs to catch up with her.)

Stan: Off to lunch?

Wendy (turning to him): You know it! Maybe today we could eat together.

Stan (shrugs): That sounds fine to me. I'm totally free, seeing as Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny are too busy arguing with each other. God, they're so immature.

Wendy (giggling): No kidding. I prefer to have something more constructive to talk about over lunch (The two of them walk off towards the cafeteria).

(Cut to: the cafeteria. Stan and Wendy are sitting next to each other at a table, eating lunch with Quincy and Juliana, who are sitting on the opposite side.)

Juliana: I heard that CATS is the musical the fourth grade is putting on.

Stan: Really? I've heard a lot of mixed things about CATS; some people say it's a masterpiece, others say it's a colorful work of art, and others say "what the hell did I just watch?" after seeing it. (The others snicker)

Quincy: That sounds about right. It still amazes me how a musical that has no spoken dialogue, excessive dance numbers, barely any plot, and a completely sung-thru story could become so popular.

Wendy: Well, I know that most of our mothers love musicals for the costumes, sets, and songs. But I would question our fathers' motives.

Stan: No kidding. I still remember that time when my Dad went through a phase where he saw a bunch of different plays with my Mom. He once tried to write his own musical entitled "The Woman in White." He even got people like Andrew Lloyd Webber and Stephen Schwartz to help him out.

Juliana: Really? Did he ever finish it?

Stan: Nope. He gave up on that project after my sister's boyfriend died in an accident at a showing of Wicked in Denver. That's a peculiar thing about my father; he always finds time to manage a second job and lead an active social life at the same time.

Quincy: What does your father do for a living?

Stan: He's a geologist. As far as I know, he's the only one in the state of Colorado. It's odd how he can be incredibly dim-witted at times, yet he's very good at his work. I don't know how my Mom can put up with his antics at times.

Juliana: Does your mother have a job?

Stan: Yes, she's the receptionist at Tom's Rhinoplasty. If you ask me, she's really overqualified for that line of work. She's much smarter than my Dad, but she can still have poor judgment every once in a while.

Wendy: It's the same thing with me; my mother is the city planner on the City Council and my father is a mechanic. While his job requires more skill, she has more political awareness and experience than him. All the same, they can both do foolish things. In fact, a **lot **of the adults in this town are really idiotic. I guess we're lucky to have your parents around now; it'll probably even everything out.

Quincy (scoffing): I guess so (Short pause). So… how long have you two been together?

(Stan and Wendy look at each other out of the corners of their eyes, and then they look back at Juliana and Quincy.)

Stan: A very long time. It feels like it's been years, but in actuality, it's only been since the third grade.

Wendy: Yeah. In fact, we broke up at one point and went our own ways. But a long time later, we worked together to bring down this corrupt committee formed by my best friend Bebe. Once we succeeded, we realized how much fun we had with each other, as well as how much both of us had changed. So we got back together.

Stan: Definitely one of the smartest choices we ever made as a pair (He smirks and wraps her arm around Wendy. She smiles at him and they kiss).

Juliana: Tell me, are you two **always **this amorous around each other?

Wendy: Not really, no. But right now, I find that I can't pry myself away from Stan even if I wanted to.

Stan: It's the same with me. I don't know why, but I feel as if separating myself from Wendy would deliver a devastating blow (Quincy and Juliana look at each other, a look of concern in their eyes. This is not overlooked by their new friends).

Wendy: Is everything alright? You seem worried.

Quincy: Oh, no. Everything is… everything's fine. Let's change the subject, though.

Stan: Alright then (pauses). What time do you want us to arrive at your house?

Juliana: How about six-thirty? We normally do not eat dinner until seven o'clock, but we'd like to have a little time for your parents to get to know our parents and vice versa.

Wendy: That sounds reasonable. I wonder what I should wear…

Stan: Whatever it is, I'm certain you'll look drop-dead gorgeous in it! (They both chuckle playfully.)

(Cut to: the Marsh Residence, front room. Randy is dressed in a blue suit, fastening up his tie. Sharon enters in the room in her white and black dress with her matching purse in her hand. After tightening his tie, Randy looks at his watch.)

Randy: Oh, boy; it's six-fifteen. We better hurry if we're not going to be late.

Sharon (stepping by the staircase): Shelly, Stan, let's go! (A few moments later, Shelly comes down the stairs alone in a floral dress. ) Where's Stan?

Shelly: Still in the bathroom. He's been in there for like a half-hour.

Randy (calling out): Stan, come on! We're going to be late!

Stan (faintly calling): Just give me a minute! I'll be right there.

Randy: Alright! (He sighs and steps back to face his wife) This is odd; Stan **never **takes this long to get ready.

Shelly: Makes me glad I decided to use the bathroom first (A few moments later, Stan comes down the stairs dressed in a small brown suit. He has removed his hat and his hair is nicely combed).

Sharon: Wow, Stanley; you look so handsome!

Stan (gratefully): Thanks, Mom. I'm glad you like it. I was worried that it might have been a little much.

Randy: No, you look great, Stan. Now let's go before we're late.

Stan: My thoughts exactly, Dad.

(Cut to: the highway, the Marsh family's car. Randy drives towards the center of the district with Sharon riding shotgun and Shelly and Stan sitting in the back seat. After a moment, Shelly smells the air, as if some form of scent has caught her attention. Then she turns to her younger brother.)

Shelly: Stan, are you wearing cologne?

Stan (proudly): Why, yes I am, Shelly. Thank you for noticing.

Randy (smelling the air): Did you borrow some of mine?

Stan: Yeah, I hope you don't mind.

Randy (smelling it again): That's some pretty potent stuff, Stan. Which brand did you use? F By Ferragamo? Cartier Declaration? Jack Black JB?

Stan: Chikara, actually. (Randy is so surprised by this answer that he almost jerks the car to a halt. But fortunately, he manages to keep going without stopping.)

Randy: Stanley, did you say you used some Chikara?

Stan: Yes. Why, Dad? What's wrong with that?

Sharon: Stanley, that's **pheromone **cologne. You shouldn't wear it unless you want to get very… "comfortable" with someone else.

Stan (innocently): Alright, Mom. I'll remember that next time. Do you still think it smells nice?

Sharon: Actually, yes. It's a wonderful smell.

Randy (looking at Stan with the rearview mirror): Just be glad you're her son, Stan. Otherwise she'd probably do something **very **impulsive right now.

Sharon (lightly smacking her husband on the back of his head): Randy, that's disgusting! (Stan and Shelly just laugh.)

Randy (lightheartedly): Sorry, Sharon. I'll make it up to you when we get home.

Sharon (grinning wickedly): I can accept that. (Randy continues driving without another word. Eventually, they reach the center of the district. Randy looks out for each house's street address, but has trouble making them through the chilled glass of the windshield.)

Randy: Which house is the Morales family's, Stan?

Stan: The tan one, Dad. That one just a dozen meters up.

Randy: Good, we're here (He parks the car in front of the Morales family's house. Stan rubs his hands together eagerly.)

Stan (to himself): Let the excitement commence!

**Note: It won't take anywhere near as long for me to update next time, I promise. In the meantime, review please! I'll take any form of criticism, but I prefer it to be constructive criticism.**


	7. The Date

(Cut to: the Morales Residence Exterior. There are several cars parked in the street by the mansion. Randy notices this as he and the others step out of their car.)

Randy: Looks as if we're the last ones to arrive.

Sharon: It would seem that way; I can see six cars and a truck.

Stan: Or at least what's supposed to be a truck. You can never really tell what it is when it's in front of Kenny's house.

Shelly (impatiently): C'mon, it's freezing out here!

(The Marshes make their way to the mansion's front door. Randy rings the door bell, and it is answered by Aaron a few moments later.)

Aaron (pleasantly): Ah, so glad you could join us! You must be the Marshes! (He has removed his white coat and is wearing a black suit.)

Randy: Yes, sir (holds out his hand, which Aaron takes and shakes). My name is Randy Marsh. This is my wife Sharon and my daughter Shelly. I believe you've already met my son Stan.

Aaron (shaking hands with Sharon): Indeed I have. I'm Aaron Morales and I'm so pleased you could make it.

Sharon: Has everyone else arrived?

Aaron: Yes. Now that you're here, the evening can officially get started (The Marshes step inside and Aaron closes the door behind them). Come this way, please.

(Cut to: the Morales Residence Interior, Foyer. On the far end of the room, everyone else is gathered. Some people are seated in chairs while others are standing up straight or leaning against the wall. Several are talking with others. The group is composed of twenty-six people: Kyle, Shelia, Gerald, Ike, Cartman, Liane, Kenny, Stuart, Carol, Kevin, Karen, Wendy, her parents, Bebe, her parents, Lola, her parents, Red, her parents, Quincy, Juliana, and Sylvia. Each of them is dressed formally for the occasion: the men in suits, the women in full-body dresses. Kenny has even removed his parka and his blonde hair is nicely combed. His parents and siblings still have dirt marks on their faces, but are at the very least wearing presentable clothing. Kyle has removed his ushanka, and he has inexplicably managed to comb down his bushy red hair. From the way he is positioned, his hair appears to be no more than two inches tall now. Cartman has removed his hat, and his brown hair is combed in a similar way. As for the girls, each one of them is wearing a dress of one solid color. Bebe wears a mauve dress, Red wears a lime green dress, Lola wears an ochre dress, and Wendy is wearing a silver dress. They are all wearing earrings that match the color of their dress. Wendy has removed her beret and she lets her hair freely flow over her shoulders. Sylvia, Quincy, and Juliana have all removed their white coats and they are dressed in formal attire as well.)

Cartman: 'Bout time you got here. We've been waiting forever!

Liane: Eric, dear, you shouldn't be impatient.

Cartman (sarcastically): Sure, Mom. Whatever you say.

(At the site of his girlfriend in such a lovely getup, Stan hurriedly makes his way over to Wendy. She greets him warmly.)

Stan: You look amazing (she smiles at him and kisses him on the cheek).

Wendy: You, too. I like how you… (She pauses and sniffs the air). What's that smell?

Stan: Just some cologne I put on (he smirks deviously). Do you like it?

Wendy: Yes, it's… it's quite stimulating.

Randy: That's probably because he used a type of pheromone cologne; it's much more potent than normal cologne.

Sylvia: Ah, yes; I'm familiar with that type. Aaron uses it from time to time. It's quite an effective way to get us out of our lab coats every once in a while (several of the others laugh. Sylvia steps up to the Marshes and shakes hands with Sharon and Randy. Quincy and Juliana are standing next to her.). My name is Sylvia. These are my children, Quincy and Juliana.

Sharon: We're thrilled to meet you all.

Aaron (to his wife): These are Sharon, Randy, and Shelly Marsh, Stan's parents and sister (Sylvia nods her head).

Randy (looking around the foyer): This is quite a grand house you have here.

Sylvia: We know; we just moved in the other day. There are still rooms that we ourselves have not even been in yet.

Aaron (to all the adults): We gave your children a tour through it yesterday. Perhaps you all would like one later on? (The other parents look around at each other, initially making their decisions without a word spoken)

Carol: That sounds perfectly fine to me.

Gerald: Yeah, I'd like that, too.

Aaron: Alright, then. After dinner, we'll show you the house.

Sylvia: For now, I need to see to our meal (She turns to leave the room. Her husband follows her).

Aaron (over his shoulder): We'll call you when dinner is ready (He then follows his wife to the kitchen. As soon as they step out of the room, everybody starts talking with somebody else).

Mr. Testaburger: Isn't this remarkable? A couple who formerly worked for the CIA moved into our neighborhood.

Stuart: That's remarkable, all right. I wonder what their line of work involved.

Cartman (to himself): I have all the answers to that right here (He is still working on an iPad).

Liane (looking over her son's shoulder): Eric, dear, that doesn't look like your iPad.

Cartman: That's 'cause it isn't mine, Mom. Butters and I switched ours for the evening.

Liane: Why, hon?

Cartman: No reason. He was just telling me about this one app I should look up, but he recommended I borrow his in order to properly test the app out.

Liane: So he just gave you his iPad?

Cartman: No, not "just." I'm letting him hold onto mine for as long as I hold onto his.

Liane (shrugging): Seems like a fair trade to me.

Cartman: Indeed it is, Mother. (Under his breath) On my part, at least.

(A few feet away, Kyle is talking with his parents)

Kyle: Mom, Dad, did I mention that we're putting on three musicals this year at school?

Sheila: Really, bubbie? Why three?

Kyle: I was hoping that **you** might have something of an explanation; Mr. Garrison told us that the faculty received numerous requests from students' parents to put on more than one musical.

Gerald: Is that so, Kyle? I had no idea that so many people in town had such taste in the performing arts.

Kyle: Neither did I, Dad. But Mr. Garrison claims otherwise.

Gerald: Well, I look forward to seeing yours whenever you're scheduled to perform it.

Kyle: I hope I don't disappoint; we're putting on CATS.

Gerald: CATS? That's one of the finest musicals out there (He looks over his shoulder at Randy and winks at him. Randy knowingly winks back, as the two of them know full well how their wives will react to Broadway musicals, especially to one as "subtle" as CATS).

Kyle: I've heard that you have to be a professional dancer in order to get the whole dance number right. And as far as I know, Butters is the only professional dancer in our grade.

Sheila: I'm sure you'll manage just fine, sweetie.

Randy (aside to Gerald): Let's hope so. Otherwise it'll be blue balls for us (Both men snicker).

(A few feet away, Juliana is talking with Lola and Red. Kenny stands a few feet away from them, but his attention is clearly focused on Juliana. He is gazing at her as if he is mesmerized, and he smiles. Just then, someone tapes him on the shoulder. He quickly stops daydreaming and looks over his shoulder to see Quincy standing behind him. Kenny looks a little nervous, as he already knows full well that Quincy is very protective of his sister, and he just caught him staring at her.)

Quincy: Something on your mind, Kenny?

Kenny: I… I guess you could say that (he scratches his neck tensely).

Quincy: You don't have to put on a show; I know you were gazing at my sister.

Kenny (perspiring slightly): Well, maybe I was… but I didn't mean to offend you by it or anything.

Quincy (scoffing): Don't worry, you didn't. I just want to ask you something: Do you like my sister?

Kenny: (he is speechless for a few moments, and then responds apprehensively) I suppose I do. But not in a sexual way. I'm certain some people at school have told you that I'm a pervert or something like that.

Quincy: No, no one has called you that. I've been told Mr. Garrison was once a raging pervert, but not you.

Kenny: Oh, yeah, he was, Quincy. But after he reversed his sex change, he became less and less eccentric over time (Both boys laugh).

Quincy: If I'm the only thing that's preventing you from approaching my sister, then don't hesitate to talk to her. I won't stop you, as long as you treat her with kindness.

Kenny (a little stunned): You mean that?

Quincy: Of course I do. Go right ahead and talk to her.

Kenny (turns back around to look at Juliana): Maybe I… maybe I will. I'm just worried that I actually might end up emotionally hurting her. Both of my two previous girlfriends couldn't handle it after I told them… (he doesn't finish his sentence).

Quincy (raising an eyebrow): Told them what?

Kenny (sighing): I have a dark secret, but you wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Quincy (smirking): Try me.

Kenny: No, I think it's best I don't tell you. You know what? Fuck what I just said and fuck worrying (he slowly walks over to Juliana and taps her on the shoulder. She slowly turns around).

Juliana (smiling): Oh, hi, Kenny. How are you?

Kenny: I'm doing fine. I just wanted to ask how you and your family like South Park so far.

Juliana: At first glance, I would say it's a quiet mountain town full of rednecks (she pauses). And that's just how we like it; nice, suburban, and secluded. Much nicer standard of living than city life.

Kenny: I'm glad you think so. Not many city people choose to migrate to these parts.

Juliana: No, I'd say not. Though one could argue that the average level of intelligence of a city dweller is a little higher than that of someone who lives in the countryside.

Kenny: Perhaps. Based on what I'm seeing right now, the people from city life are a far sight more beautiful as well. (Awkward pause. Juliana blushes a little as Lola and Red giggle at Kenny's remark. Kenny quickly covers his mouth with both hands) I'm sorry, did I just say that out loud? That was stupid of me, totally random and uncalled for. I hope I didn't make you feel–

Juliana (interrupting him): No, it's alright. But Kenny… do you really think I'm… beautiful?

Kenny: Well… (he slowly begins to look over his shoulder, as if to gaze at Quincy, but before he does, he turns back to Juliana and rubs any trace of nervousness off his countenance) Yes, Juliana; I do think you're beautiful.

Juliana (awed): Kenny… no one of the opposite gender has ever told me I was beautiful before.

Kenny (surprised): Really? No one?

Juliana: Well, there's my father and brother, of course, but that's different. No one outside the family has ever called me beautiful.

Kenny (smiling): That's surprising; you have to be one of the most beautiful girls this town has ever seen (Kenny is slightly taller than Juliana. She looks up at his eyes and the two of them share a moment of sincere eye contact).

Juliana: You know what?

Kenny: What?

Juliana: I think I like you better when you don't wear your hood. I can understand what you say much better, and I can see more of your face (This time it is Kenny's turn to blush as Lola and Red giggle more).

(A few meters away, Stan and Wendy are standing side-by-side, flashing each other a beaming smile.)

Wendy: I really look forward to later tonight.

Stan: So do I. Fortunately for us, Butters isn't here to ruin the moment, our cell phones are off, and I'm pretty damn sure we aren't dreaming.

Wendy: Excellent. We won't have any interruptions.

Stan: Let's hope not (He then notices a slight dark brown mark below Wendy's right eye). Hey, Wendy, you've got something of a discoloration right here (he points his finger to a spot under his own right eye to correlate the mark's position to her).

Wendy: I do? (She takes out her compact and uses the mirror to examine her face) Oh, I must have used a touch too much makeup on that spot. I better fix that up (She moves off to the side and takes out a bit of eyeliner and a few other cosmetics. Stan is temporarily left standing alone. Until Bebe walks up to him).

Bebe: Stan, what type of cologne are you wearing?

Stan: Chikara, Bebe. Why do you ask?

Bebe: Because that's some pretty strong stuff. Isn't that a brand of pheromone cologne?

Stan: Indeed it is. What's wrong with that?

Bebe: Well, nothing really… unless you wore it for the reason most men choose to wear pheromone cologne.

Stan (shiftily): Which is…?

Bebe: Oh, don't try acting all innocent and such, Stan. We're two mature fourth-graders, and I think we both know what's going on.

Stan: Oh, really, Bebe? What pray tell is going on? What am I up to?

Bebe: Stan, calm down; I never said you were up to anything. Unless Wendy… (pause)

Stan: Well? Unless Wendy what? What does Wendy have to do with this?

Bebe: Nothing… and everything, I suppose. But you better be careful around her.

Stan (rolling his eyes and speaking sarcastically): Sure, I'll be careful around the only girl in town who never followed Paris Hilton's example by becoming a stupid spoiled whore. In fact, why don't I just go ahead and take advice from the girl who **headed **the SSW movement in South Park?

Bebe (slightly offended): That was a long time ago, Stan! Paris Hilton's lifestyle is meaningless to me and the other girls now.

Stan: I certainly hope so. I have no desire to relive what happened at that so-called "party" you held at your house (Wendy has just finished touching up her makeup. She notices her best friend is talking with her boyfriend, and the former seems to be aggravating the latter from her point of view. She marches over to them).

Wendy (angrily): Bebe, are you harassing my boyfriend?

Bebe: No, Wendy. At the moment, he's too pompous to be harrassed.

Stan (scoffing): Really, Bebe? I'm pompous?

Bebe: You are right now.

Wendy (annoyed): Leave him alone, Bebe. He doesn't want to talk to you.

Stan: I literally could not have said that better myself, Wendy. Bebe, please just go away.

Bebe: Fine, whatever. It's not like I care (She walks away and joins Red and Lola).

Wendy: What's up with her tonight?

Stan: Your guess is as good as mine. She almost sounded as if she was on to us; like she knew about our plans for later this evening.

Wendy: I don't think so; she would have spoken out by now if she did.

Stan: Good call; I think we're in the clear.

(At that moment, Aaron and Sylvia come back into the room.)

Aaron (speaking loudly so that everyone can hear): Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served!

Cartman (putting away Butters' iPad): Sweet!

(Cut to: the Morales Residence, Dining Room. There are two tables set up. The larger one is where all the adults are seated; the smaller one is where the children are seated.)

(Aaron is standing at the front of the adult's table, using a thick carving knife to cut a large turkey into individual slices. Sylvia passes plates around the table so that everyone has an individual serving. Once all the adults have their plates, Aaron and Sylvia serve the children at their table. Everyone helps themselves to the other food items around the tables and proceeds to pass them around after getting their own helpings.)

(A bit later, everyone is eating.)

Randy: So, Aaron, Sylvia… what exactly do you do for a living?

Aaron: My wife is a particle physicist and I am a natural science manager. My son told me that your son told him that you are a scientist yourself, Randy.

Randy: Well, yeah, I am. I'm a geologist.

Aaron: He also mentioned that you're the only one of your trade in the whole of Colorado.

Randy (scoffs): He exaggerates. A while ago I **was** the only one, but I now have several co-workers at the Geology Center. However, I do believe I'm the only Nobel Prize-winning geologist in the whole of the state.

Sylvia (interested): You've won a Nobel Prize?

Randy: Indeed I have. I found a solution to end the threat of spontaneous combustion. But I prefer not to talk about it; especially over dinner.

Aaron: Why not?

Randy: For a variety of reasons. One is how I'm both proud of it and ashamed of it.

Sharon: I'm proud and ashamed of you, too, Randy.

Randy (smirking): Thanks, Sharon.

(Across the room, the children eat their food. Cartman is careful to demonstrate proper table manners in the Morales' dining area)

Red: This is rather ironic; I never thought I'd have a formal dinner until we entered middle school.

Lola: That would make sense to me; most upper schools have mandatory etiquette classes in the seventh or eighth grade.

Cartman (in a somewhat showy, preachy way): It's always vital to have proper table manners, especially in the company of your host. A lot of agreements between world leaders have been jeopardized simply because one of them could not wipe his mouth or raise his glass correctly in the presence of the others.

Kyle: The fat-ass slob has spoken; take in his "words of wisdom" and they will get you nowhere (The other children laugh. Cartman glares at Kyle, but restrains himself from responding).

(Further down the table, Kenny and Juliana are sitting next to each other. Every once in a while, one of them looks at the other out of the corners of their eyes. Kenny apparently wants to say something, but he is not sure how to begin. Finally, he opens his mouth.)

Kenny: Do…

Juliana (cutting him off): I'd love to.

Kenny (stunned): What do you mean?

Juliana (turning to him): I assume you were going to ask me if I wanted to meet you somewhere tomorrow.

Kenny: Actually, that is what I was going to do. Would you mind?

Juliana: Oh, not at all. Let me just check my itinerary and I'll get back to you.

Kenny (smiling): You go it.

Cartman (muttering to himself): Oh, goody. The poor boy falls for the rich girl. Didn't see **that **coming! (No one except Quincy hears him. Quincy quickly dismisses it and puts it aside for the moment.)

(Stan and Wendy are sitting next to each other. As they eat, he rubs his ankle against hers underneath the table. Enjoying the feeling, she giggles and smiles at him. He smiles back and continues brushing the side of his foot against hers. Bebe happens to notice that the two of them are more focused on each other than they are on eating, and she takes a quick peek under the table. After she does, she looks seriously concerned.)

(At the adults' table, everyone is about halfway finished with their plates.)

Gerald: So, what exactly did you do while you were in the CIA?

Aaron: We worked in a variety of fields, but it was the field of genetic engineering that made us rich.

Sheila: Oh, really? Genetic engineering? We have a genetic engineering ranch downtown.

Sylvia: We know; our children told us that a certain doctor visited the school yesterday to demonstrate his latest invention of "regression pills." The man must be an expert in his line of work.

Randy: He is… if everything in his line of work has more than one ass (Several of the adults laugh).

Liane (to Aaron and Sylvia): But what exactly did you two do that involved genetic engineering?

(Aaron and Sylvia look at each other, as if they are thinking up their response without any verbal discussion)

Aaron: I'm afraid we cannot discuss that; it's classified.

Stuart: Classified? You made a fortune and you can't even tell anyone **how**?

Sylvia: Sorry, Mr. McCormick, we would tell you, but we're sworn to secrecy by the CIA.

Carol (under her breath): Damn.

Aaron: We can tell you about anything else we did regarding the CIA, but we cannot talk about our work in the genetic engineering department.

Sharon: Did you every use your expertise to catch any criminals?

Sylvia: Yes, several. We worked together with a group of America's brightest minds to put dozens of dangerous and deadly masterminds behind bars.

Randy: What all did you do?

Aaron: We did extensive DNA research, we developed new methods of monitoring underground activity, and we revolutionized various ways of tracking people down. All without violating the rights spelled out in the Amendments of the United States Constitution. Well, mostly, at least.

Gerald: That's good. "Mostly" is what the government always goes for.

(Cut to: the Morales Residence, Kitchen. Several of the adults are helping Aaron and Sylvia with the dishes.)

Aaron (putting some dishes away): As soon as we're done cleaning up, we'll show you around the house.

Sharon (helping Sylvia at the sink): It's quite beautiful from the outside.

Sylvia: Thank you, Sharon. My husband and I were just in luck that such a house could be found out here in the country.

(The children are in the next room. Kevin and Shelly stand next to each other and they look at each other without saying a word.)

Kevin: Hey (Silence).

Shelly: What's up? (More silence)

Kevin: Nothing much (After more silence, the two of them smile at each other).

(Cartman is back on Butters' iPad. He seems to be struggling with accessing some files. Ike bounces over to him and looks over his shoulder.)

Cartman (noticing him): Oh, hey, Ike.

Ike: What are you doing?

Cartman: Hacking into the CIA mainframe. But I can't access the files under genetic engineering.

(Ike takes the iPad from Cartman and presses a few keys. Then he hands the iPad back to him. Cartman gazes at Ike in amazement.)

Ike: There you go.

Cartman (still stunned): Well, thanks for your help, Ike (He goes back to searching for a certain group of files).

(Karen appears to be a little uneasy, as she's the youngest person there with the exception of Ike. Quincy notices and walks over to her.)

Quincy (putting his arm around her shoulders): Everything alright?

Karen (nervously): I… I guess so. I don't do too well in crowds, and my family rarely gets invited to other people's houses. I mean, your living room alone is almost as big as **our** house.

Quincy: Well, you shouldn't feel anxious. You're welcome at our home.

Karen: I appreciate the gesture, but you don't have to worry about me. I'm never really that nervous, as long as my guardian angel is watching over me.

Quincy (raising an eyebrow): Guardian angel?

Karen: Yeah. He's always looking out for me, and he occasionally visits me when I'm supposed to be asleep. In a way, he reminds me of my brother Kenny.

Quincy: Fascinating.

(Cut to: the Morales Residence, Second Floor. Aaron and Sylvia are in the middle of giving their guests a tour of their house. They stop outside a locked door. While Aaron digs around in his pocket for the key, Sylvia turns to the group.)

Sylvia: Behind this door are the prototypes of several of the devices my husband and I helped to create when we worked for the CIA. In order to ensure their safety, we keep this door locked at all times.

Aaron (removing the key from his pocket): Even if someone were to make a copy of this key, they wouldn't be able to get the door open without tripping the alarm (he inserts the key into the doorknob and turns it until a "click" is heard). You see, we installed a security system in this room that is automatically activated once the door is locked. However, this key in my hand has a microchip implanted in the front that deactivates the alarm when turned correctly.

Gerald: That makes perfect sense to me. They've used those types of keys in banks for decades. They're used to activate a silent alarm when a robbery is under way.

Sylvia: Exactly (Aaron pushes the door and holds it open for the others).

Aaron: Look around all you want, but don't touch anything!

(Cut to: the Secret Room. It is dimly-lit, and it is full of podiums. The podiums are evenly spaced out with about five feet of space from each other in any direction. There is an object sitting in each podium protected by a cubical glass dome. In front of each dome, there is a small control panel.)

Kyle: You invented all of these?

Aaron: Not by ourselves. A few of them we made on our own. We were just members of a team that made the rest of them.

(Red steps up to a podium that holds what appears to be a type of thick laser-pen.)

Red: What's in here?

Sylvia: That's the Electromagnetic Lighter. It can be used to locate any sort of hidden substance on a carpet, clothes, or other surface. Think of it as a more advanced version of the "blue light" method employed the police. It can be adjusted to search for a specific form of radiation.

Aaron: Here, I'll give you a demonstration (He steps over to this podium and enters a code into the data panel. The top of the glass dome opens up on a hinge. Aaron reaches inside and extracts the device). When modified properly, this device can be used to find residue from anything, especially from bodily fluids (Several of the men snicker. Aaron simply ignores them and adjusts the device). For example, I can find out if any of you suffered an injury earlier today, as the Tracker is presently set to make red blood cells glow. (He presses a button on the top of the pen and a bright light starts glowing from it. It gets wider the further it travels, and at a distance it is wide enough to cover a whole human being. As Aaron moves the light down the room, several of their guests start glowing small amounts in various areas). It would appear as though a few of you may have suffered injuries within the past few days. Most of them minor. But there's one that has me a little concerned.

Sharon: Concerned in what way?

Aaron: It appears as though Mrs. Testaburger might have severely injured her thigh, or something in close proximity to it, as I am picking up a huge cluster of blood particles located around- (his wife quickly elbows him) On second thought, forget what I just said (Out of courtesy, mostly everyone pretends they did not hear what Aaron just said. Except for Mr. Testaburger).

Mr. Testaburger (to his wife): Is that why you've been a little moody lately? (She just glares at him in annoyance)

Sylvia: I believe you all get the idea (Aaron puts the Electromagnetic Lighter back in its dome and seals the case back up).

Lola: What's in this one? (She points to a dome further down the room. It is holding an object that appears to be an airhorn attached to a remote control and a computer screen.

Aaron: That's the Sound Restrictor. It can be calibrated to localize any certain sound within a specified distance. It is really useful when trying to find, say a ringing cell phone in a loud room or to track an approaching vehicle. It can also be used to eavesdrop on a conversation, even if it's taking place in the next room.

Cartman: Sounds like my kind of gadget. Have you yourselves ever used it to eavesdrop on someone?

Sylvia: No, it can only be used like that when investigating criminal activity. We couldn't even legally use it to listen in on our children's phone calls.

Quincy (drily): How fortunate for us.

(Bebe is standing in the center of the room in front of the middle podium. This podium holds an object that looks like someone took the nozzle of a hairdryer and attached it to a rectangular metal container and fitted it with several sheets of aluminum and a keyboard.)

Bebe: What's in this container?

Sylvia: Oh, **that **happens to be our most valuable creation. We simply named it the Gene Chaser. It can use the satellite web around the planet to track any person on the planet.

Stan: How does it manage that?

Aaron: First, we'd need a sample of the individual's DNA. A fingerprint, hair follicle, blood sample, or even a single cluster of skin cells would suffice. The computer is then able to seek out and locate a much larger collection of this DNA, which – of course – would be a human being. It's all too complex to explain in full, but the important thing is that it can find anyone anywhere at any time with the person's DNA.

Wendy: Now that is just amazing.

Cartman: Do you ever use any of the devices in this room?

Sylvia: We can use them in **this **room literally, but we must contact the CIA for their authorization if we plan to utilize them outside this room for their intended uses.

Kyle: But if these are the prototypes, then aren't they essentially **your **property?

Aaron: Technically speaking, they are. But we gave the rights for usage to the CIA when we worked there. While we are allowed to keep the original models, we are bound by law not to use them without the CIA's permission.

Randy: Nice to see that we have some citizens in this town who are both high-class **and** law-abiding. Most of the time those two adjectives are contradictory (Everyone laughs).

Sylvia: Well, I guess that's it for this floor. Let's proceed to the third floor. In one room, we have one invention that no one in the CIA knows about. It also happens to be our children's first invention.

Stan: Do you mean the Holo-Room?

Sylvia: Indeed I do, Stan. Everyone, follow me (the group heads out the door. Stan and Wendy are the last to leave).

Stan (whispering): We're almost there. All we have to do is find a way to get rid of everyone so that we'll have the Holo-Room to ourselves.

Wendy (smiling, whispering): I can barely contain my excitement, Stan. Your cologne is really starting to rub off on me.

Stan (smiling back): Patience, Wendy. In just a few hours, we'll be in each other's' arms, and then the evening **really **kicks off.

(The two of them leave the Secret Room and Aaron locks to door to it back up.)

**Note: The next chapter will get hot, trust me! By the way, one thing I'd like to know in your review; do you like my portrayal of Kenny without his hood? I always thought that of the four boys, Kenny has the most complex personality. While his principal defining trait (other than his "curse," of course) may be his addiction to sex, it is notable that he is very protective of his sister Karen and very loyal to his friends. What do you think? Did I do him justice?**


	8. Ball Room

(Cut to: the Morales Residence, Third Floor Corridor. The group is presently standing directly outside the Holo-Room. Aaron opens the door and gestures for everyone to step inside. One by one, they all file in. Once all of the other thirty people are inside, Aaron steps in and closes the door behind him.)

(Cut to: the Holo-Room. Everyone has spread out around the Room, standing a certain amount of space apart from each other. Sylvia stands by the panel on the wall.)

Aaron (to the other adults): We had the pleasure of showing your children this room yesterday. It's a place where illusions become realities. We simply call it the Holo-Room.

Carol: How does it work?

Sylvia: The mainframe uses a multitude of projectors, illusory probes, and motion trackers to design any place – factual or fantasy – in its memory banks. We can make the recreation seem as vast or as open as the actual location would be in real life.

Gerald: You mean like in Star Trek: The Next Generation?

(Brief pause)

Aaron: Yes, exactly. Here, we'll give you a few demonstrations (He gives his wife a signal with his right hand. Sylvia turns to the panel and enters a code. Shortly after she does, the grid-like pattern disappears and is replaced by what appears to be desert, as there seems to be nothing but miles of sand in every direction. Aaron continues talking as everyone gazes around in amazement). In reality, this room encompasses an exact area of 225 square feet. But at this moment, the equipment we installed in the walls makes this room appear to be as massive as the Sahara Desert.

Sharon (wiping her brow): It certainly is hot in here.

Sylvia: That's another part of the program; whenever the computer recreates a certain landscape, the landscape's climate is reproduced alongside it.

Mrs. Testaburger: How does it manage that?

Sylvia: Temperature resonators. They control the levels of heat energy and moisture in the air of the room. If this were a recreation of Antarctica, it would be much colder and drier. If it were a rainforest, it would be hot and more humid. If it were the area just outside this house, it would be cold and moist.

Cartman: But since this is a desert, it's just downright hot and dry as hell?

Aaron: Correct.

(Stan and Wendy are standing right next to each other)

Wendy: It actually **is **pretty hot in here.

Stan: That's 'cause you're standing next to me (They chuckle).

Randy: Good one, Stan.

Stan: Say, I have an idea for how we could cool off.

Wendy: How?

Stan: Let's shed some of our clothing!

(No one speaks for a few moments. Then some people laugh strangely.)

Randy: Bad idea, son.

Stan (smirking): Relax, Dad. I'm joking! (whispers under his breath) Or not.

Sylvia: Let's just change the setting (She turns back to the panel and enters in another code. The desert fades away and is soon replaced by an island surrounded by vast bodies of water. Everyone seems to be even more stunned than before. Shelly steps up to the shoreline and puts her hand in the water. She quickly recoils after this.)

Shelly: Jeez, that water is freezing!

Aaron: It's not real water, Shelly. It's merely another illusion created by the Holo-Room. This program is able to manipulate one's senses, as well as one's depth perception, into believing that water is all around them. It essentially looks, smells, feels, sounds, and even tastes like actual water. We've even used this room to go swimming at times.

Randy: That's not a bad idea. The only month of the year where snow doesn't cover the ground here is June. It's occasionally green in July, but we rarely have the opportunity to go swimming in this town.

Sylvia: This could remedy that problem (She enters a different code into the panel. Now the ocean and the island disappear and they are replaced by a huge ball room. This vicinity covers an approximate area of 105,000 square feet. The ball room has round tables with chairs near the side walls and the center of it is clear. One discerning feature about this program is that this time, there are people all throughout the room).

Sharon: Where are we now?

Sylvia: We're in the Orlando World Center Marriott's ball room. It's the largest ball room to date.

Sheila (noticing the new people): Are these real people?

Aaron: Yes and no. Each person you see is based upon an actual living human being, but they are merely part of the program. They only interact with us if we choose to do so, and they do not possess sentience.

Stan: Could we stick with this program for a while? I like it.

Wendy: Yeah, me too. I think a ball room would be a nice touch.

Aaron: I don't see why not. Anyone here interested in dancing?

(Everyone looks around at each other and most merely shrug.)

Gerald: Sure, why not? After all, we're all dressed for the occasion.

Sylvia: Excellent. Let me just get some music playing first (She enters another code into the computer. After a moment, Johann Pachelbel's "Canon in D" plays all throughout the ball room [If you are unfamiliar with that canon, I'd recommend you look it up. Odds are you've heard it at one point or other in your lifetime]. Several of the holographic figures get up to dance in pairs. The real people do the same, starting with the adults. Every man places his hands on his wife's waist and every woman places her hands on her husband's shoulders. Next the children get paired up. Stan pairs with Wendy and Kenny pairs with Juliana. As they join the adults, Kevin pairs with Shelly and Quincy pairs up with Karen. Now the only children left unpaired are Cartman, Kyle, Ike, Bebe, Red, and Lola. The boys gaze at the girls with blank expressions across their faces.)

Cartman (whispering): You go first, Kyle.

Kyle (whispering back): Me? Why should I be the first to ask?

Cartman: Because Jews always go down first! That's why!

Kyle: Whatever (He walks over to Bebe and wipes his brow anxiously). Bebe, you wanna dance?

Bebe (giggling): Sure, Kyle. I'd love to (Lola and Red chuckle as Kyle takes Bebe's hand and they go off to join the others).

(Cartman and Ike stand with each other. Lola and Red appear to be somewhat apprehensive, as if they are both worried that Cartman will ask them to dance. Soon, Ike bounces over to the girls.)

Ike (holding out his hand): Want to dance, Lola?

Lola (blushing): Sure, Ike. I'd be happy to dance with you (She lets Ike take her hand. Despite the fact that he is half her size, he pulls her along as if they were the same height and weight).

(Red and Cartman are now left alone. Liane is sitting in a chair next to her son.)

Liane: Go on, Eric. Ask her.

Cartman: Mom, don't pressure me, please!

Liane: Alright, hun.

(Cartman puts Butters' iPad away and takes a deep breath. He slowly approaches Red at the rate of one step every five seconds. Initially, she doesn't even seem to notice him. But when he's about five feet away, she acknowledges his presence.)

Red (frustrated): Just get it over with, fat-ass.

Cartman (slightly offended): Well, ex-cuuuse me! I'm trying to be a gentleman here!

Red: That would be a monumental accomplishment for someone like you.

Cartman: Red, maybe you should be wondering **why **no one else asked you to dance.

Red (after a moment of silence): Why do you think?

Cartman: 'Cause you're a ginger, that's why! You may not have freckles or pale skin, but you still got the hair!

Red (drily): My hair is not orange, stupid. Why do you think people call me 'Red?'

Cartman (jokingly): Maybe it's because you're Irish.

Red (confused): What?

Cartman: Haven't you ever seen The Shawshank Redemption?

Red: Yes, of course I- (realizes the reference). Oh, I get it (she chuckles).

Cartman (smiling): Oh, so I can get you to laugh? I just knew you had a sense of humor.

Red: What made you think I didn't?

Cartman: I've just never seen you laugh at anything I say. I thought your sense of humor was as dry as Christopher Walken's dreams.

Red (laughing again): That's actually a good one, Eric.

Cartman (holding out his hand): Care to dance now?

Red: Why would you want to dance with me? I thought you disliked gingers.

Cartman: I did. Until I came to terms with the fact that my biological father was a ginger. Now I've become a little more sympathetic to others.

Red: I assume by "sympathetic" you mean "tolerant?"

Cartman: Sure, you could say that. Now you want to dance or not?

Red (shrugging): Oh, what the hell! (She takes Cartman's hand and the two of them join the others on the dance floor.)

(Across the room, Kyle and Bebe watch them in amazement.)

Bebe: Never thought I'd see the day where Cartman managed to get on Red's good side.

Kyle: He can be very persuasive, Bebe.

(Stan and Wendy are dancing together not too far away from their best friends. However, it is notable that they have less space between the two of them, and Stan's hands are positioned a little lower than Wendy's waist. Sharon and Randy dance by them.)

Randy (looking down at his son): Stan, you're not holding Wendy the right away.

Stan (looking up at his father): I know, Dad.

(Randy and Sharon look at each other in concern.)

Sharon: Stan, are you feeling alright tonight?

Stan: Of course I'm feeling alright! Why wouldn't I be?

Randy: Stanley, you've been acting a little oddly this evening around Wendy.

Wendy: We're on a date, Mr. Marsh. The dinner party just happened to coincide with it.

Sharon: Well, you two have fun. Just don't get carried away.

Stan: Mom, Relax! You don't have to be so inquisitive!

Sharon: I wasn't being inquisitive, Stanley. I was just expressing my motherly concern.

Stan: I appreciate that, but don't worry about us. We just want to enjoy the evening.

Sharon: Okay, if you insist. (She and Randy dance away from them. Stan and Wendy then look around and see that the coast is clear)

Stan: I think this Marriott program is exactly what we need. Let's see if it recreated more of the building.

Wendy: I thought you'd never ask! (The two of them look around to make certain that the coast is clear, and once they're certain no one is looking, they make their way to an exit. They arrive in the front lobby and walk over to the elevators. Stan presses the "Up" button. Before long, an elevator opens and the two step in. Wendy presses the button for the top floor and the elevator closes up. It quickly begins its ascent.)

Stan: This is going to so sweet.

(Cut to: the Ball Room. Liane is sitting on her own, watching Cartman dance with Red. She smiles at the sight. One of the holographic figures approaches Liane from behind. He is dressed in a black suit and he is holding a cocktail in his right hand. He places his hand on Liane's shoulder.)

Hologram: Good evening, ma'am. Enjoying the festivities?

Liane: Yes, it is quite lovely here today.

Hologram: Oh, today is nothing. You should see what this place is like on holidays! It'll blow your mind!

Liane: I'm certain it would.

Hologram (sitting down next to her): Are you here for the week?

Liane: No, I'm just here for the evening with my son.

Hologram (noticing Cartman): Oh, oh, my apologies, ma'am (he seems a little embarrassed). I did not realize you were married.

Liane: I'm not. I had an affair with a member on the Denver Broncos once. Eric is the result of that.

Hologram (regaining his confidence): Well, in that case, can I buy you a drink?

Liane: Sure, why not? But first, may I ask your name?

Hologram: Chris. Chris Kirkpatrick (He leaves to get Liane a drink).

(Sharon and Randy have been watching Liane interact with the holographic recreation of Chris Kirkpatrick. They dance as a pair over to Aaron and Sylvia and talk with them without pulling apart.)

Sharon: Was that really Chris Kirkpatrick?

Aaron: No, it was just a recreation of him. However, the real Chris Kirkpatrick does in fact live in Orlando. So we decided to add him to this program.

Randy: Wow. Do you have any other celebrities from Orlando in here?

Sylvia: Yes, we do. We also have a bunch that live in Miami. In fact, look at that table over there (He briefly takes his left hand off his wife's waist to point out a certain table. There are three people seated there). That's Sylvester Stallone, Stephen King, and Nicolas Cage.

(Across the room, these three individuals are in fact seated at a table. Sylvester Stallone looks as if he is inebriated, Nicolas Cage looks bored, and Stephen King looks as if he is tense. King is writing something down on paper.)

Stallone: So, Nick and I was thinkin'; what if we tried to make another of your books into a movie?

King (looking up): I assume you two would want a part in it?

Cage (monotonously): Perhaps. First we'd want to have the screenplay ready in advance so we'd have time to get into character.

King: How much time do you normally spend getting into character?

Stallone: About a week. Maybe two if I have nothing better to do.

King (not amused): Neither of you guys has really shined much this past decade. If I want people to still think I'm a literally genius, I need to take my work seriously!

Cage (monotonously): Relax, Steve. We value our work as much as you do.

King: I certainly hope so. I do not want the next film to have the same fan reaction as DreamCatcher!

Stallone (yawns): Just write something and we'll go with it.

King (sighs): Sure. Why not? It's not like I got anything better to do, after all!

(Sharon, Randy, Sylvia, and Aaron stand by watching the three holograms interact with each other.)

Randy: Wow, that was just like observing the real-life versions of them!

Aaron: You can credit our children with that.

Sharon: What do you mean?

Sylvia: You see, the technology that runs this room is not permanently imbedded into the wall. It is 100% portable. Quincy and Juliana designed this entire thing themselves while we were living in Wyoming. It was the first thing our little geniuses made on their own.

Randy (in disbelief): All of it?

Sylvia: Yes, all of it. We helped design the programs, but the fundamental elements were all developed by them.

Randy: Amazing. That definitely sounds like something to brag about.

Aaron: Actually, we don't like to brag about our children's intellect.

Randy: Why not? I sure as hell would if mine were as smart as yours.

Sylvia: We'll tell you why later. For now, let's just dance.

(Cut to: the Top Floor of the Holographic Recreation of the Marriott. Stan and Wendy have arrived there via elevator and are looking around for a vacant room. Just then, they see a housekeeping person come out of one of the rooms.)

Stan: Looks clear. Let's see if we can get in there.

Wendy: We'll need a plan, first (They stand thinking).

Stan: I've got it! (He whispers something into Wendy's ear. When he's finished, she nods in agreement. Stan then casually walks up to the housekeeping employee.) Excuse me, ma'am.

Housekeeping Employee: Yes, sir?

Stan: Could you please direct me to the ice vendor?

Housekeeping Employee: Certainly. Follow me (She first places a doorstop down at the base of the room she is cleaning. Then she leads Stan down the hallway. While she does, Wendy sneaks into the room and hides. A minute later, the housekeeping employee comes back to her cart. She steps inside the room, drops off some towels and mints, and then removes the doorstop and leaves with her cart. Once she is gone, Stan comes back and makes his way to the same room. He knocks on it carefully, and Wendy lets him in).

Wendy: Great plan! If only it was that simple in real life!

Stan: It **is **that simple for some of us. But who cares? We've got the room to ourselves. How does it look?

Wendy: It looks great. In fact, this isn't just a standard hotel room. It's a luxury suite! The bedroom has a canopy bed, the refrigerator is stocked with wine, and there's a great selection of music.

Stan (deviously): You had me at "bedroom."

Wendy (grabs his hand): Let's go there, then (she pulls him into the next room. There is indeed a king-sized canopy bed with clean sheets in there).

Stan: You go ahead and get comfortable. I'll get some wine.

Wendy (in mock alarm): Aren't we a little young to be drinking wine?

Stan: Yeah, but don't forget that it's not real; it's holographic. Besides, we're also a little young to do what we're here to do.

Wendy: Can't argue with that! (She jumps onto the bed and spreads herself out. Stan goes into the kitchen and gets a bottle of Pinot Noir from the chill chest. Next he searches around for a corkscrew into the drawers. Once he succeeds, he walks back to the bedroom and gets onto the bed with Wendy.)

Stan: Stay right here. I'll go grab a couple of glasses. (He leaves the room again. Wendy sighes and holds the bottle in her hands. She is clearly having a great time with her boyfriend.)

(Abruptly, Wendy hears a noise, like the door to the suite being electronically unlocked. Alarmed, she gets off the bed and hides underneath the bed. A moment later, a holographic recreation of Julia Roberts enters the room. She is wearing a full-body dress with a soft woven jacket around her shoulders.)

Roberts: Thought that party would never end! I'm just glad it did; now I finally have some time alone (She tosses her purse onto a chair. Then she steps in front of a full-length mirror and checks out her hair. When she's satisfied with her image, she starts to unbutton her jacket. When she's finished, she slides it off and tosses it onto her bed. Then she unzips her dress at the back, bringing her zipper all the way down. She slowly steps out of her dress and neatly lays it out on the bed. Now she is only wearing a white bra and panties. She stands in front of a mirror and gazes at herself, smiling vainly). Look at you, you sexy beast!

(Under the bed, Wendy just rolls her eyes. She then sees Stan coming back from the other room with the glasses. However, just before he enters the room, he spots her underneath the bed. He mouths the words "What's wrong?" to her. She just points a part of the room he can't see from her position. Stan carefully looks around the door frame and sees Julia Roberts admiring herself in her lingerie. After seeing this, he ducks back into the next room, accidentally knocking a chair over. Julia Roberts stops admiring herself for a moment upon hearing the noise.)

Stan (quietly): Shit! (He tries hiding behind a couch)

Roberts: Who's there? (She starts making her way into the next room. Then she smells the air.) What's that smell? Is someone here? (Stan begins to sweat nervously when he realizes that she can smell his cologne. She turns to the couch and approaches it. Stan sees her shadow get closer on the opposite wall, and he clings to the couch to remain hidden. However, just before Roberts discovers him, she freezes in midair as if she has suffered a sharp blow to the head. She drops to the ground, revealing that Wendy struck her on the head with the wine bottle.)

Wendy: Everything's alright now, Stan (He slowly comes out from behind the couch and sees what his girlfriend has done).

Stan (impressed): Damn, Wendy. You sure took her out!

Wendy (smirking): I've always wanted to do that.

Stan: Knock somebody out with a wine bottle?

Wendy: No, not just anyone; I've wanted to knock Julia Roberts out with one. I know she isn't the real Julia Roberts, but it's the next best thing.

Stan (nodding): I guess so (he slowly approaches Wendy, but stops for a moment. He then takes a closer look at the sight in front of him: his girlfriend is standing over a scantily-clad unconscious Julia Roberts. This sight seems to sexually excite him. Wendy quickly notices this).

Wendy: Is this turning you on, Stan?

Stan: Well, uh… I don't know, you could say that.

Wendy (lustfully): Well, I want you to feel aroused, so maybe I could do something to set the mood for you (She kneels down begins to rub Julia Roberts' bare back. She lets her hands travel all along the unconscious actress' body, as if she is tracing her all around. Stan begins to feel something down there. Wendy quickly notices). Looks like I've got the right idea (She turns Roberts onto her front and sets herself down near her breasts. Stan feels a stronger twinge between his legs.) I'm almost there… (Now Wendy leans down next to Roberts' face and opens her mouth. Then she practices French-kissing the unconscious actress. Stan is now on the verge of a raging hard-on. His hand finds its way to the top of his dress pants. He tries to control it, but he just finds himself becoming more stimulated by the little show his girlfriend is putting on for him. Just before he blows his load, Wendy relents and practically pounces onto him. She fiercely kisses him, barely giving him time to breathe.)

Stan: You are incredible, Wendy. In more ways than I can imagine. I hope you know that.

Wendy: Oh, I **do **know, Stan. And I **want **to show you that I am. Now, come on. Let's have a drink, some music, and a little rest.

Stan (gesturing to Roberts): What about her?

Wendy: Good point. We'll have to deal with her, in case she regains consciousness.

Stan: Good thing this isn't the real deal, otherwise we'd be charged with breaking & entering and battery.

Wendy: Yeah, but it'd still be worth it! Come on, let's find something to tie her up with (The two of them begin searching for the room to find materials they could use to bind Roberts' hands and feet together).

**Note**: **I'll try my best to update more often. I was just inexplicably stuck on this part. I'll try to have the next chapter up before Saturday.**


	9. Home Run or Strikeout

**Question: Is anyone here by any chance a fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? Just this past week, I became a Brony myself. I can easily see why that show is so much more popular with men ages 16-35 than it is with its intended audience of very young girls. Anyway, that's my excuse for this update being somewhat overdue. This past week, I watched all 52 episodes of MLP: FiM on Netflix. I'm even thinking of beginning a MLP: FiM fanfic. I just hope I can balance that fanfic with this one, as well as my impending return to college all at once.**

(Cut to: the Ball Room. It is much the same as before. The married couples are all dancing together and all the children are still paired up. Liane is now having a drink with the holographic recreation of Chris Kirkpatrick.)

Kirkpatrick (in the middle of a monologue): So, anyways, after the group split up, we all went our own ways. Lance and JC did fairly well on their own. Joey managed to lose about one hundred pounds when he was on that dancing show. But I suppose Justin was the one that really made it big, primarily in New York.

Liane: Fascinating (she sips her cocktail).

Kirkpatrick: Indeed. But I think he's becoming a little too attached to his guest appearances on Saturday Night Live. If you ask me, it won't be long before he's even more dependent on them than Alec Baldwin.

Liane (shrugging): That could be the case (She sets down her glass and looks over at Cartman. At this point in time, Cartman and Red are maneuvering smoothly across the dance floor).

Red (as they dance): Where'd you learn to dance like this, Eric?

Cartman: I taught myself, Rebecca.

Red (amazed): Really?

Cartman: Yes, in fact, I've taught myself a number of skills.

Red: Like what?

Cartman: Well, off the top of my head, swimming, wrestling, carpentry, smuggling, hacking, photography-

Red (cutting in): Wait, hacking? What do you mean by that?

Cartman: Oh, nothing. Nothing, really (Red gives him a suspicious look. He pinches his shirt collar nervously). Well, I did learn how to hack into the school's mainframe and keep an eye on my grades.

Red: Wow. That must be difficult.

Cartman: It is, believe me. But it has its benefits, such as keeping my academics in line. I also help a few other people out with their grades this way.

Red: In what way?

Cartman: I assume you go a 99 on your last math exam?

Red (surprised): Actually, I did get that grade. How did you know?

Cartman: I found the entire class's results, and I modified the curve a little. I gave you a 15-point bonus. Your original score was an 84.

Red: Why did you do that?

Cartman: It's simple; we gingers gotta look out for each other.

Red: What about Kyle? He's the same type of 'ginger' as me, yet you and he don't get along very well.

Cartman: That's different. We're guys; we just rip on each other for various reasons.

Red: I suppose that makes sense (They continue dancing in silence. Soon, Cartman notices Liane and the holographic recreation of Chris Kirkpatrick getting up and exiting the room. Red notices this as well). Where do you suppose they're going?

Cartman (shrugging): I don't know. And I don't think I want to know either.

(A little further down the room, Quincy and Karen are still dancing together.)

Quincy: Would you mind if I asked you a few questions about your brother?

Karen (apprehensive): No, go right ahead. What would you like to know?

Quincy: What's he like?

Karen: Well, he's something of an alcoholic, he gets in fights with my Dad, he finds mocking people to be really funny, and he can be really irresponsible at times.

Quincy (looking over at Juliana and Kenny in alarm): Are you certain? He doesn't seem like that type at all. If he is that type, I should not have introduced him to my sister.

Karen: Oh, you wanted to know about Kenny? Sorry, I was talking about Kevin.

Quincy: Oh. My mistake. In that case, what is Kenny like?

Karen: I love Kenny. He always looks out for me when my parents and Kevin are too busy. He likes to keep a lot of his personal life private, though.

Quincy: Is there anything about him you'd classify as irregular? (She stares at him blankly, so he quickly rephrases his choice of words.) Is there anything odd about him I should know?

Karen: Well, nothing really. Except… every now and then, he has a tendency to disappear for short periods of time.

Quincy: Disappear? In what manner?

Karen: Sometimes he can be absent from school or home for a while. However, he always turns up back in bed every morning. Sometimes people joke by saying that the reason for his disappearances is that he 'died' or something.

Quincy: I see. He mentioned that he has had two girlfriends in the past. What do you know about them?

Karen: Not much, only that he met one on a choir tour and he claimed to have contracted syphilis from an encounter with the other.

Quincy (looking over at Kenny): He seems to be getting along with my sister just fine. I certainly hope no complications will arise between them.

Karen: Me neither.

(Cut to: Julia Roberts' Suite. Stan and Wendy have finished tying up Julia Roberts with some belts. Her ankles are bound with one belt, as are her upper legs. Her wrists are firmly bound together by another belt. There is a large black piece of cloth over her mouth which is tied by the ends at the back of her neck, forming a quite effective gag.)

Stan: Not bad.

Wendy: No bad at all. Now let's hide her (The two of them push the unconscious Roberts into the closet and close the door. Then they turn to each other).

Stan (casually): Now, where were we?

Wendy (picking up the wine bottle): I believe you were getting the glasses?

Stan: That's right (He moves off to the side and picks up the two wine glasses. Then he and Wendy jump back onto the bed. He gives her one of the glasses and keeps the other one for himself). You want me to do the honors?

Wendy: Sure, why not? (She hands him the bottle. He applies some pressure onto the cork and easily pulls it out. Wendy holds out her glass as Stan studies the label.)

Stan: 1972. Great year (He fills Wendy's glass, and then his own. He seals the bottle back up and sets it off to the side. Then he turns to Wendy and raises his glass). To good health and good relations; they control everything in modern days.

Wendy (raising her glass): To health and relations (They clink their glasses and down their drinks in one gulp. As they lower their glasses, their eyes met in an electric moment. It is visibly obvious that both of them are getting some very provocative ideas). Is it me, or is it a little hot in here?

Stan (humoring her): A little? It's boiling! (He begins taking off his suit jacket. Wendy smirks, pleased with this action on his part. They begin their romantic evening at first base.)

(Cut to: the Ball Room. Ike, Kyle, Lola, and Bebe have all stopped dancing and they are standing off to the side, talking with each other.)

Lola: I had no idea you were such a talented dancer, Ike.

Ike: Thanks. It's a hobby of mine.

Lola: I bet it is.

Bebe (curiously): What was it like dancing with him?

Lola: It was a bit like I had a dwarf as my dancing partner, but he was guiding me flawlessly the entire time (She and Bebe giggle).

Kyle (patting Ike on the back): Good job, Ike. Looks like Mom was right; you will be quite the charmer when you get older.

Lola: I'd say he's old enough, Kyle (He flashes her a glare. It is not hostile, but it seems to contain a subtle warning). On the other hand, perhaps you are right.

(Kenny and Juliana step off the dance floor and join the group.)

Juliana: That was rather… exhilarating.

Kenny: No joking! I'm going to get a drink.

Kyle: I second that! (He and Ike follow Kenny to the bar, leaving Juliana alone with Lola and Bebe.)

Juliana: Do you two have a moment?

Lola: Of course, Juliana.

Bebe: Is there something you want to talk about?

Juliana: Well, yes. I want to talk about Kenny.

Lola: Really? Why?

Bebe: More importantly; what do you** want **to know?

Juliana: I've heard tell from him and others that he has had two girlfriends before he met me. I was wondering, what were they like?

Lola: Why do you want to know that?

Juliana: I'm just curious to know more about Kenny's preference in girls.

Lola: Oh, Kenny's primary discerning feature is that he is attracted to any type of girl. But if you want to know about the lucky two that were his girlfriends for a while, there is not that much you need to know.

Bebe: You see, Kenny's first girlfriend was this girl named Kelly. He met her on a choir tour for a "Save the Rainforest" campaign which eventually became a "Screw the Rainforest" campaign.

Lola: From what I recall, his relationship with her didn't last more than a couple weeks. She lived really far away. But I always thought it was sweet how he went on a very long bus ride almost every other day to see her.

Juliana (raising an eyebrow): Really? He went well out of his way just to be with her?

Bebe: Oh my, yes. He somehow found a way to pay for all his bus fares, despite the fact that he and his family are dangerously poor.

Juliana: They are?

Bebe: Unfortunately, yes.

Juliana (looking at Quincy across the room): My brother mentioned earlier to me that Kenny's family is extremely poor, and that it could be possible that the only reason he is attracted to me is because my family is rich.

Lola (scoffs): I doubt that. His other girlfriend – Tammy Warner – was even poorer than he was. Her family was the only one in town with a lower income than Kenny's. But the factor of money didn't matter to him in the slightest.

Juliana: Are you serious? (She seems speechless) Kenny goes out of his way to be with someone he cares about, and money played no factor in determining his relationships?

Bebe: That's the honest truth. Kenny may be poor, but he is undeniably sweet and considerate.

Juliana: Then why hasn't either of you gone out with him?

Lola: For one thing, we barely even know what he looks like. He rarely takes off his hood. In fact, I'd say that tonight was the first time in like six months that we've even seen his face.

Bebe: And aside from that, he's a really private person. He likes to keep to himself. Kudos to you if you manage to find out how he is able to "disappear" from town for days on end without anyone noticing.

(Cut to: Julia Roberts' Suite. Stan and Wendy are spread out on the bed. Wendy is lying down on the pillows while Stan is sitting up in front of her with her feet in his lap. He has removed his tie and suit jacket, and some of his shirt buttons are undone. He rubs Wendy's feet with his hands gently. Both of them seem to be elated.)

Wendy: That wine might be holographic, but it certainly has an intoxicating effect.

Stan: No kidding. It's quite stimulating (The two of them look across at each other, and slowly a smile crawls onto both their faces). Hey, Wendy, remember when you and I first started going out, and how I would always throw up whenever you so much as talked to me?

Wendy (snickering): Boy, do I. I never knew if I should have felt happy, disgusted, or touched. So I was all three at once.

Stan: I'm just glad I learned how to stop feeling so queasy when I'm around you. I'd hate to think of throwing up in your mouth (The two of them laugh).

Wendy: It'd be a small price to pay for being able to kiss you, though (Stan lets go of her feet and crawls over to her. He lies down on his side next to her and circles her upper chest with one finger).

Stan: I can see your breasts are coming along nicely.

Wendy: Thank you. I just got my first training bra last week. You wanna see it?

Stan (laughing): Sure. Why not? (Wendy pulls down the top of her dress to let Stan get a good look at her developing breasts. They are not especially large, but they are big enough to make Stan want to drool.)

Wendy: Hey, wait a moment. You remember that time when Bebe's breasts destroyed society?

Stan (smirking and rolling his eyes): Who could forget that? It's amazing what testosterone can do to guys like me when they're caught off guard.

Wendy: I still can't believe I actually got those implants. I guess it's just my luck that they could be removed.

Stan: I'm glad you got them removed. Your authentic breasts are much more pleasant to look at.

Wendy (suggestively): How about you come in for a closer look?

Stan (growling): Don't mind if I do. (He positions himself closer to Wendy and kisses her solemnly. Now they are at second base.)

(Cut to: the Ball Room. Several of the children's parents have stopped dancing and are currently sitting at some of the tables. Randy, Gerald, Sharon, and Sheila are sitting with Aaron and Sylvia.)

Aaron: So, what do you all think of this?

Gerald: This is all quite overwhelming; I never thought for one moment that something like this would exist outside the world of Star Trek.

Sylvia: And as you can see, it does indeed exist.

Randy: There is still one thing that doesn't make sense.

Aaron: What might that be?

Randy: If your children created this, then why haven't they been publicly acknowledged for their work yet? I mean, a pair of 10-year-olds creating something as revolutionary as this would almost certainly gain the media's attention.

Sylvia: The reasoning is quite simple: we don't **want **the recognition.

Sheila (stunned): You don't? Why not?

Aaron: When we were working with the CIA, we already had enough recognition. A couple years after our children were born, we decided that we wanted to lead a quieter lifestyle, so we resigned from our offices and took up new fields of study. That's the main reason why we moved to South Park anyway. We wanted to move to a small, secluded town where we could raise our children in peace without crowds of people swarming over us.

Sylvia: We even asked our children if they wanted some publicity, but explicitly told us that they did not want to be covered by the media, as they believe that the press is all about exploitation for profit.

Sharon: That actually makes perfect sense to me. I mean, in the past century, most technological entrepreneurs have been almost relentlessly stalked by the media and questioned incessantly about their work. I understand that such pressure could be quite inconvenient.

Aaron: I literally could not have said that better myself, Sharon.

(Cut to: Julia Roberts' room. Stan is lying on top of Wendy and holding her close to him. They appear to be on the verge of third base.)

Stan (through deep breaths): Wendy, do you believe all this superstition about the world coming to an end in December?

Wendy: Truthfully, I'm not sure. Why do you ask?

Stan: 'Cause I don't believe in it, but I don't want to die a virgin if it is true.

Wendy (smirking): Me either. Better safe than sorry.

Stan: And you know what the beauty of it is? If we are right and the world doesn't end, we can get a good laugh at everyone who thought it would. And if it does end… well, there'll be no one left to laugh at us.

Wendy (giggling): That's a unique way of looking at it. But how about we stop talking for a little while?

Stan: Sounds fine to me. (A lot of time passes. Stan and Wendy are reaching third base. Neither of them notice that the closet on the other side of the room is opening. Julia Roberts has regained consciousness. She seems to be struggling to break free of her restraints, as well as shout at Stan and Wendy, but her gag muffles her words quite well. With great difficulty, she slowly rises to her feet and begins hopping out of the closet and towards the suite door. She turns her back to the door and looks over her shoulder, trying to coordinate her bound hands with the position of the doorknob. Eventually, she manages to turn it and swing the door open a bit. She begins hopping towards the elevator as the door closes. Once it does close, Wendy and Stan stop what they are doing for a moment.)

Wendy: What was that? (They briefly look around)

Stan: Guess it was just the person in the next suite turning in for the night. (Wendy shrugs and they resume making out. Both of them have one hand positioned on each other's crotch and are rubbing smoothly. They are well on the path to ecstasy.)

(Another hour passes. Cut to: the Ball Room. Most of the holographic patrons and celebrities have left. The Morales family's guests are beginning to do the same thing. Bebe's family, Lola's family, and Kyle's family are all bidding the Morales family a good evening and leaving the Holo-Room. Red and Cartman are standing near a table.)

Red: That was quite an amazing night, Eric. You really surprised me.

Cartman (slyly): You can find that I'm full of surprises, my dear.

Red: I guess you are. See you tomorrow at school (She goes to meet up with her parents and they leave the Holo-Room. Cartman stands around waiting for Liane).

Cartman (muttering): Where the hell is she? (After a few moments of waiting, Liane enters the room again with the holographic recreation of Chris Kirkpatrick. She sighs blissfully. Cartman has a good feeling as to why she is.) Mom, are you kidding me? Tell me you didn't!

Liane: Didn't what, baby?

Cartman: Mom, don't play innocent with me; your dress is inside out (Liane looks down at notices that her dress's hemlines are on the outside. She blushes slightly)

Liane: Whoopsy.

Kirkpatrick: Pleasure meeting you, Ms. Cartman. We should do this again sometime. Here, call me. (He hands Liane a piece of paper with a phone number on it.)

Liane (smiling): Alright, Chris. I will. (Kirkpatrick walks away, leaving Cartman alone with Liane.)

Cartman: Mom, you do realize that as soon as we step out of this room, that piece of paper is going to vanish?

Liane: No it won't, sweetie. I gave him both the paper and the pen he used to write on it with.

Cartman: Well, still, you know that wasn't the real Chris Kirkpatrick, right?

Liane: Does that really matter? (Short pause; Cartman cannot seem to counter this, given his Mom's stubbornness.)

Cartman: I suppose not. C'mon, let's go home (He and Liane leave).

(Kenny is saying goodnight to Juliana.)

Kenny: So, it's settled? We'll meet tomorrow at Stark's Pond after school, alright?

Juliana: Sure, I'll be there at five o'clock sharp.

Kenny: Great, I'll see you then (He kisses her on the cheek and leaves with his family. Juliana just stands there, rubbing the spot his lips touched dreamily. Quincy comes up behind her).

Quincy: Got a date tomorrow?

Juliana: You could say that.

(As of right now, the only guests who are still present are the Marshes and the Testaburgers. They are looking all around for Stan and Wendy, but they are nowhere in sight. Aaron and Sylvia notice that they are concerned.)

Aaron: Looking for something?

Randy: Yes, we can't find Stan. I could've sworn he was right here with us.

Mr. Testaburger: Wendy's gone, too. Where could she have gone?

Sylvia: When was the last time you saw them? (Everyone thinks)

Sharon: About two hours ago, actually. They were dancing together. But they were dancing quite… intimately.

(Aaron walks over to the panel on the wall and examines one of its screens.)

Aaron: According to the record, the doors weren't opened anytime in the last three hours, except for when the other families left. So they must still be somewhere in here.

Mrs. Testaburger: Can you shut the program off?

Sylvia: Unfortunately, no. This is a special kind of program. We use it on special occasions, such as when we have company. It has to run all the way until it is finished; it cannot be terminated prematurely.

Mr. Testaburger: Then how long before it is over?

Sylvia (after a moment): Another three hours.

Mrs. Testaburger: Three more **hours**? We can't wait that long to find them!

Randy: Then I guess we'll just have to look for them… in a recreation of the largest Marriott in the United States.

Aaron: Actually, it's the largest Marriott on the planet.

Sharon: That just makes a search even more complicated.

(Just then, Julia Roberts hops into the room. She is still bound, gagged, and in her lingerie. Everyone who seems her – both the sentient, organic people and the artificial, holographic people – seem surprised to see this.)

Randy: What's this? An after-hours show?

Aaron: No, this isn't part of the program. Not unless it's been modified.

Sylvia (suspiciously): Quincy, you haven't been tempering with the program again, have you?

Quincy: No, Mom, of course not! Besides, even if I was, why would I make this happen to Julia Roberts?

Sylvia: I suppose that's a good point. Let's find out just what is going on (They all walk closer to Roberts. Sylvia pulls off her gag). Julia, what happened to you?

Roberts (annoyed): Do you really want to know, Sylvia? I could describe it in detail for you.

Randy (to Aaron and Sylvia): How is it she knows you?

Aaron: That's another part of the program we utilized as the creators; every hologram in here knows us by name and by sight.

Roberts: I just spend the last hour trying to get down here. Having my ankles bound together did not help in the slightest. I had to hop the entire way towards the elevator from my suite.

Aaron: How did you get like this?

Roberts: I just remember blacking out in my suite. I woke up like this, and there were a boy and girl resting together on my bed.

Sylvia (scoffing): Julia, we've been over this many times. That boy and girl are your twin children!

Roberts (aggravated): No, this time they're not Phinnaeus and Hazel! They're spending the night with Danny. And besides, Phinnaeus has orange hair and Hazel has blond hair. The two children in that room both have black hair!

(This closely catches the attention of Randy, Sharon, and the Testaburgers.)

Randy: They both had black hair?

Roberts: Yes, and they appeared to be in fourth grade. But based on how they were going at it, you'd assume they were much older.

Sharon: Wait, "going at it?"

Roberts: They looked as if they were trying to recreate that sex scene from Mulholland Dr. The only difference is that one of them was a dark-haired male instead of a blond female. And – I might add – he smelled like Chikara pheromone cologne.

Sylvia (turning to the others): I think we can fairly assume where we can find Stan and Wendy now.

Randy: Hell, why are we still here? Let's go! (The six adults leave the room and begin making their way to the elevators, leaving a still-bound Julia Roberts alone.)

Roberts: Hey! What about me?

Shelly: Shut up (She trips Julia Roberts, causing her to fall flat on her face).

(Juliana and Quincy stand together, seeming somewhat unmoved by the strange conversation between the adults and the holographic Julia Roberts.)

Quincy: I think I better give Dr. Mephisto another call (he leaves the Holo-Room).


End file.
